Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Shape of...a smackdown!
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.20.1998
Cue the cheddar-flavored denouement. The Teflon Dad realizes that he no longer needs to protect his "little girls," as they've become more than capable of protecting themselves on their own. For they are strong. (Strong!) They are invincible. (In-vin-ci-ble!) They are WOOOO-MAAAAN! Shut it, Pops.
Later that day, Prue finishes up a phone conversation with Andy, begging off the Warriors game in favor of dinner with Victor, and thanking him for his advice regarding her "dad." Phoebe overhears this last bit and titters, "So, it's 'Dad' now?" Prue confirms this, and the Glamorous Ladies settle in to share with us The Lessons They Have Learned. Prue admits that, despite everything that's wrong with The Teflon Dad, he's the only father they have, so she has to learn to accept him on his terms. Or something like that. Phoebe understands that she shouldn't cling to her own "romanticized" version of their father, because that sort of thing is ultimately just as useless as Prue's overweening hatred. Or something like that. Piper's just glad he came back, even if it was for only one day. And that one was pretty accurate. Poor Piper. Ever the doormat, no?
The doorbell rings. Let's see. They've vanquished the demons of the week, and we've already had two rounds of Lessons They Have Learned. Who the hell could possibly be ringing their bell with six minutes left in the hour? Oh, shit. Piper answers and returns to the parlor with...him. "You must be Mr. Wyatt?" Prue asks. "Just call me Leo." No. No! I'll call you a fucking dolt is what I'll do, you ass. The Fucking Dolt hands Prue an envelope he found on the doorstep, then dolts on and on and on about the beautiful craftsmanship in the Manor and dear Lord, why? WHY? Phoebe gets horny, dry-humps the arm of the sofa, then offers to show him the "attic," if you know what she means. As the Feebs and the Dolt are about mount the stairs (ew), Prue calls Phoebe back to the parlor. Seems the envelope is from Victor. He's canceled their dinner date, as he had to "leave town on business." He did, however, include a videocassette in the envelope, noting that the tape contains some memories he cherishes that he'd like to share with the three.
Cut to Piper, Phoebe, and Prue nestled into a single overstuffed armchair, watching their younger selves on the television. The tape is of Victor's last Christmas with the family, and I'm going to assume that would have been in 1976, even though this would mean Patty's already pregnant with Raige. I don't know why I bother. Nailing down specific dates on this show is an exercise in futility, but then again, I have to get my exercise somewhere, don't I? Almost as futile an endeavor, apparently, is expecting a certain amount of casting continuity. The woman celebrating the holiday with the wee Ps? In no way resembles Finola Hughes. For one thing, her teeth are tiny. Velour abounds, and Victor sports mutton-chop sideburns, both of which are nice choices. By the way, Phoebe got a Barbie that year. That could explain a lot, couldn't it? The Glamorous Ladies wax nostalgic as we fade to black.