Episode Report Card Deborah: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Slings And Arrows Of Outrageous Fortune
By Deborah | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.14.2004
Olive is mightily displeased with her plate: "What is this?" Kevin: "Chicken. It happens a lot around here. The name Girardi causes fear and trembling in the chicken world." Olive gripes, "It's cut into little pieces!" Helen: "Oh, well, I thought --" Olive interjects, "What am I, some sort of helpless baby? Why don't you chew it up and spit it in my mouth like a little bird? I'm certainly capable of eating by myself!" She pushes the plate away, and grabs a drumstick off Kevin's plate and starts eating it: "See? I'm not dead yet." Everyone's uncomfortably silent except Helen, who tries to explain: "Olive, we just wanted to try to --" Olive interrupts again: "Call Dr. Chin. Tell him I can't live with you people hovering over me like this." She's trying to make herself ready to leave the table and Helen, still patient, offers to try to help her but Olive explodes, "Don't touch me!" Helen loses it: "You ungrateful bitch!" Will is wide-eyed. So's Olive. You go, lady! Helen: "If our turning our lives upside down to care for you is not enough for you, then fine. You can go to your Chinese doctor. But I'll tell you something: you'd better leave before he gets to know you." She walks out. No one speaks. Olive wipes her mouth haughtily and throws a defiant look at Will as she flings the napkin on the table. He gets up and goes after Helen. Olive tries to get away from the table but it's hard to work her wheelchair with only one strong arm. Kevin dares to help push her but she smacks his arm away and he brings his hand up to his mouth, giving his siblings a "yipes" glance. They're all silent until she's gone. Joan can't suppress a little smile, and she and Kevin briefly exchange looks. She leans over to Luke, who's already starting to smirk a bit, and says, "In the pamphlet, that's a big no-no." All three of them break up. Olive can overhear their quiet laughter from where she's sitting in the kitchen. Me: "God, even at his bitterest, Kevin was at least more entertaining than Olive." Frink: "Probably smelled better, too." I remind him he'll be old someday.
Will and Helen are getting ready for bed. Helen's raking herself over the coals for her outburst: "I asked her to stay with us. How could I talk to her like that?" Will says, "Doctor says the stroke wouldn't affect her mental acuity or speech. What'd you expect?" Helen: "Well, I expected to not yell at an old lady who just had a stroke. I called her a bitch!" Will: "I know. I almost cheered." She gives Will a little shove on the shoulder. He walks around and stands behind her at the mirror, and puts his arms around her waist. Helen: "I'm just so tired of hearing how great her life is." She picks up the photo Joan found, asking, "Do you remember what we talked about that night?" He says they were going to go to Paris for a year: "You were gonna paint during the day and take classes at night." Helen: "And you were gonna study cooking and learn French." Yeah, and Frink and I were going to live on a houseboat. Frink also wants to live in a yurt, but I wasn't so much for that. Anyway, shit happens. Or doesn't, as the case may be. Helen asks softly, "Would you change anything?" Will thinks for a good long moment -- enough to give the idea that he's really considering the question, not just giving the usual pat TV answer -- and says, "Just Kevin." Now I'm all teary.