Episode Report Card Sara M: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tempura Battered
By Sara M | Season 18 | Episode 2 | Aired on 02.19.2009
And now the moment Probst has been waiting for: the all-men round. JT, Joe, and Spencer will be competing against Brendan, Douche, and Jerry. Let's see what Mr. D. "Vote Out The Weak Players I Am So Strong" Bag has to show us. Brendan gets the ball first, but there's no one to pass it to so he just throws it down the court. JT gets it, and there's Douche well away from the action. "Coach is really dragging!" Probst cries. Ha ha! I usually hate it when Probst calls out certain players, but not this time. JT shoots and scores, and it's a tie game. The editors make sure to include a shot of Douche wheezing and doubled over. Hahahahahahahahahaha! And then another shot of the Jalapeños celebrating. I just noticed that their bathing suits are color-coded, too.
Last round: Stephen, Sydney, and Taj against Sierra, Candace, and Tyson. The editors throw in yet another shot of Douche looking winded while Sierra has been in, like, every single round, has a fever of 115 degrees, and is just fine. The game begins. Sydney gets the ball first and passes it to Taj even though she's a horrible shot and is currently wrestling with Candace. Sydney realizes her error and gets the ball back, but Sierra takes her down. On the sidelines, we see Spencer and Sandy yelling at Taj to help Sydney out. We also see Douche, silent and tired. What a great coach he is! Taj gets the ball, but is taken down by Candace's boobs. Tyson has managed to get free of Stephen and grabs the ball, but his shot misses. Sierra shoots and also misses. Sydney manages to get the ball as Stephen pulls Tyson away from it, but her shot misses, too. Stephen then gets the ball. He has Sierra on his back and looks for someone to pass to. Sydney is busy pulling Tyson's little shorts down and Taj and Candace are entangled with each other. He has no choice but to throw Sierra off of him and make the shot himself. This has got to be his worst nightmare, to have his whole team depending on him to score the game point in something athletic. But ... he makes it! Hooray! And just look at the relief on his face to have avoided embarrassment and shame. The Jalapeños embrace while members of Tempura look on, totally defeated.
Everyone goes back to the beach and Probst asks who Jalapeño wants to send to Exile. Surprisingly, they don't send Sierra, but Brendan. He grabs his stuff as Probst reads his little note. The big twist is ... Brendan gets to choose a member of Jalapeño to join him at Exile. Hasn't this been done before? Like, two seasons ago when Ozzy and Kathy went to Exile together? Whatever. Brendan's choice is also surprising, as he picks Taj. Probst gives them a map to Exile and they're off. He gives Jalapeño the idol and says he'll see Tempura later. Tyson gives us the post-game wrap-up voiceover that Sierra will probably be the person they vote off because she didn't make the trek with them in the beginning of the game. How is that a bad thing? Doesn't it mean she's stronger for not having burned all those calories? And it's not like she didn't make the trek on purpose -- you guys tried to vote her out! And she made you a shelter! I hate Tempura.