Episode Report Card Sara M: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tempura Battered
By Sara M | Season 18 | Episode 2 | Aired on 02.19.2009
Over at Tempura, the tribe is having trouble lighting their fire. Sierra interviews that she's still "on the outs" of her tribe and re-thinking that hidden idol. She decides she can't find it alone, so she tells Brendan about it since he didn't vote her out in the beginning. Why tell anyone, Sierra? Find it yourself! She and Brendan sneak off to search the beach. She finds the stick and starts to dig while Brendan plays look out. Sierra unearths the next clue, but let's not get too excited here. Even Sandy managed to find that. It took her two days, but still. It tells her to look for just a "lone tree," so I guess Tempura's beach doesn't have palms. I also guess that Survivor production crew cut down a bunch of trees just so there would be one lone tree for the clue. Sierra and Brendan decide the clue must refer to one tall tree that sticks out amongst the others. While Sierra goes off to stand guard, Brendan digs. Back at camp, the others are starting to wonder what Sierra and Brendan are up to. Debbie goes off to find them. Uh oh!
By this point, Brendan's hole is HUGE. And ridiculously deep. Do they really think the producers buried the clue ten feet down? When the other clue was buried like six inches under the sand? Morons! Dig WIDE, not DEEP! And Sierra has given up on looking out for other players and is helping Brendan dig. That's why they're caught totally off guard when Debbie walks up and catches them red-handed. Sierra thinks quickly and says they're building a "massive fire pit." Brendan adds to the lie, saying they want to do a bonfire later tonight. Debbie totally falls for it. Not only that, but she also LOVES the idea. Brendan and Sierra pat themselves on the back in interviews, and then Sierra and Debbie head back to camp so Debbie can tell everyone about the awesome fire pit party on the beach tonight. Ha! I hope she feels stupid watching this now. Candace apparently hates fire pit parties, so she immediately shakes her head and says that doesn't "make much sense" (true) and therefore she will not be attending. Sierra interviews that she doesn't think it's worth the risk of getting caught to keep looking for the idol. Well, no, it isn't if you're going to look for it by digging to China.
The fun doesn't stop at Tempura on Day 5, as the tribe puts some beans on. Candace loves rice and beans as much as she hates fire pit parties, so she proposes adding rice to the pot. She says something about steaming rice by adding olive oil and lime juice to it and wrapping it in aluminum foil. "We could find most of that stuff," Tyson says. "Really?" Candace asks, so hopeful. "No. I lied straight to your face and you ate it up," Tyson says. Seriously, what was Candace thinking? That they have aluminum foil trees in Brazil? Moron! And why is Tyson showing off how good he is at lying to his tribemates? Moron x2! Anyway, everyone's down with cooking rice and beans in one pot except for Douche, who thinks the rice will absorb all the water and then the beans won't cook right. Someone says they can just add more water, but Douche isn't having it. Candace points out that she's the one doing the cooking, so if Douche wants it done his own special way, he can cook it instead. Douche says if Candace and Tyson want to cook the rice and beans in one pot, "no problem." Except it obviously is a problem for him. Because he's a Douche. He then interviews that Candace is like him in that they both find faults in others. But that's okay when he does it, because he's a coach and that's his job. Oops! Not anymore! He got fired like the day after Survivor premiered. Ha ha ha! I mean, you hate to see anyone lose his livelihood in this economy, but Douche totally deserves it and he sucks, so it couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy. As for Candace, she interviews that she is an educated woman and doesn't appreciate being talked down to by Douche. "In real life, like, I would've broke it down, like, to his psyche. You know, and his insecurities and how he over-compensates. I would've really, like, got to him," she says. She's got Douche pegged, but she might want to work on her speaking skills if she really wants to come off as an educated woman. She says she decided to walk away and wait for his inevitable apology instead.