Episode Report Card Sars: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Neverland
By Sars | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.04.2000
Credits. Cat getting fed tail-first into Salad Shooter.
The Potter Bed & Breakfast. At the stove, Bessie "Sister Act" Potter wants to know, "So, are you planning to fill me in, or do I have to die from anticipation?" Joey says with studied casualness, "What?" Bessie asks how it went seeing AJ, and tells Joey to "leave no sordid detail unturned." Joey says, "Well, let's see. We broke up, and then Pacey went insane and kissed me."
Cut to coffee on its way into a cup as Doug "E. Fresh" Witter says heartily, "Heeey, you kissed her, good for you." Didn't they use this same cutting-back-and-forth-between-overlapping-post-kiss-convos technique in the second-season premiere, after Dawson and Joey finally kissed? Yeah, I thought so. God forbid they put the effort into writing a straight conversation between two people. Anyway, Pacey looks grim.
Back to Bessie repeating "oh my God" a few times, then asking, "How could he do this to you?" Whatever, Sisters Potter. Joey allows as how, "technically, I maybe sort of -- let him do it to me, but -- I still blame him entirely."
Back to Pacey sputtering that "the whole thing was her fault. I mean, you know, she told me that I was the one that she thinks about, you know -- me! And then she gives me this look -- what was I supposed to do?" Doug tries to keep a straight face as Pacey continues, "Do you know how long I've been waiting for her to give me that look?"
Back to Joey grousing, in a slightly better-natured tone, "And then he gave me this look, this look like --" "I know the look," Bessie interrupts, and Joey furrows her brow at Bessie, and Bessie looks at Joey like, "Girl, please."
Back to Doug saying, "Look, I don't get it -- she gave you the look, you kissed her, it was a good kiss. So what's the problem?" Pacey observes that "the hitting, punching, and rejecting, that might be a bit of a problem, not to mention --"
Aaaaand back to Joey gesturing impatiently with a syrup pitcher and saying, "Dawson. I mean, if he found out -- I mean, I don't even want to think about what would happen if he found out. I mean, I know one thing, we could kiss our friendship goodbye." She pours syrup on her pancakes.
Back to Pacey doing the same thing, and saying more or less the same thing as well: he can't risk the friendship, Dawson would never speak to him again, blah blah blah fishcakes. Dawson never speaking to him again is a bad thing? How is that a bad thing? Pacey winds up with, "He's the brother I never had." Doug either doesn't get that last part or chooses to ignore it, asking through a mouthful of pancake, "So what you're saying, is Joey's like a bus." Pacey quickly says no, he's saying Joey's like a girl, but Doug tells Pacey to hear him out: "Joey is like a bus that can't go below fifty. Dawson is a bomb hidden underneath that bus, and you are the brave heroic police officer wanting to drive the bus to safety, but can't because of the bomb." Uh. Okay. Let me just scribble that down so I can send it in to the New Yorker for their "Block That Metaphor!" feature. Pacey chews his food and stares at Doug.