Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Who Run The World?
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 22 | Aired on 02.27.2012
Caleb's back in Montecito, matriculating cyberwolfishly at any damn institution strikes his fancy. Updates! Meanwhile, Mona has not heard from A, beyond that message-by-apple, but is still paying for her shoplifting with community service. And it has not dulled her tongue, no sir, to wit:
"This community service gig is like the ninth circle of Hell! Today I went from the soup kitchen to the senior center. Shopping carts to walkers. What's next, driving the short bus?"
...Wow, Mona. Even Hanna is like, "Whoa." But then Mona -- eerily echoing Alison, long before the Montgomerys ever took their sabbatical abroad -- spots Hanna's mom in a compromising position...
MARIN
Ashley: "Hanna! I was just having some wine. It's been a day."
Hanna: "WHY? Why were you in Wilden's car? Were you necking?"
Ashley: "...'Necking'?"br>Hanna: "That's what old people do instead of hooking up, right? Necking?"
Ashley: "No, we have a complicated system of colored bracelets that we use as sexual currency. But no, I was not hooking up with Wilden. We were having a secret meeting about whether or not I should spy on you, my own daughter."
Hanna: "You're right to be concerned, and apparently I can't stop you getting up in my business, but my problem with you at this precise moment is that it was Wilden. He is bad news, Mom! He is the kind of guy who will use his position of authority to extort sex from a girl's mother! For a misdemeanor!"
Ashley: "Takes two to tango, my sweet. It's not like it was his idea."
Hanna: "Uh, but it totally was his idea to throw us all in jail for finding a shovel!"
Ashley: "Yeah, he's pretty obsessed with you. Hence why he makes the perfect ally."
MONTGOMERY
Aria: "Mikey, you're shaving!"
Mikey: "Yeah, I didn't want Dad to know because then he would climb up my butt and pretend to be a father and it's been so horrible watching him do that with you."
Aria: "Yeah, he's pretty revolting. Taking pictures and making memories and being sodden about it."
Mikey: "Remember when you got your period and Byron was all, bought you that rose and told you that you were a wom..."
Aria: "-- Yeah, Mikey. Our dad is to vom."
Mikey: "Anyway, I'm going to DJ at the Father/Daughter Dance. Gavin says it's a great idea, and when I asked him what he meant he just shook his head at me like I'm never going to grow up. Anyway, I'm going. Are you going? You should go."
Aria: "Well, since you said so."