Episode Report Card Joe R: A- | 9 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Good Shit Lollipop
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 2005.08.22
Hodes House. Celia's spraying for bugs in Isabelle's room when she discovers the reason why she has to spray for bugs: a bag of candy hidden underneath her daughter's pillow. Okay, that is kind of gross, but if Celia wasn't so Sugar Nazi about it, Isabelle probably wouldn't have a food hoarding complex. Anyway, Celia's solution is to replace Isabelle's chocolate with chocolate laxative. As you do. Elsewhere, Shane thaws out a giant steak and slaps it down on the back patio while he sits watch with his air rifle and waits for the cougar to take the bait. Weird little fucker.
Meanwhile, Silas is at some abandoned-looking house where the wayward youth of Agrestic come to drink and smoke and debauch. He's talking to one of his drunk-ass buddies who's slurring about some web site that teaches girls how to give head. Yeah, but it's the internet, so there's like a 65% chance that these girls are getting erroneous information. For reliable blowjob information, girls (and boys, let's not forget) should go to primary sources, like peer-reviewed journal articles and Sue Johanson. Anyway, on the subject of deep-throating, Silas is like, "Yeah, Deaf Megan can do that." We're treated to another anecdote about the estimable Dennis Cling, who says Megan's mouth is like a Dirt Devil. When Silas gets up to find more coherent company he comes across Deaf Megan herself in the next room. She's got a can of spray paint and is correcting some graffiti that reads "Megan Gives Good Head." She's crossing out "good" and substituting "great." Someone has good self-esteem! Silas fucks with her behind her back for a second before she turns around and gives him an annoyed look. He keeps blocking her path to leave so finally she gives him a look like, "Seriously?" And it's Silas, and "horndoggy" is his default expression (when it's not "pissy," that is), so she licks her lips and drops to her knees. Silas unzips his pants and closes his eyes...and Megan spray-paints his crotch. Not a euphemism. Silas hurriedly buttons up, as Megan gives him the finger, and he calls her a "crazy bitch" and runs off.