Episode Report Card M. Giant: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Bridezilla vs. Not-A-Mom
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 06.05.2005
Ruth is surprised to hear from the doctor that George is ready to go home. Ruth disagrees heartily, even as the doctor blithely writes in George's chart and blows off Ruth's fears. "I am not bringing him home tonight!" she finally stage-whisper/screams, and the doctor looks up from his chart to realize that this isn't about her concern for George. "He's not ready," Ruth insists. The doctor sighs, "One night more. But tomorrow he has to go home. We need the bed." Hey, that's kinda harsh, dude.
"Fuck," Claire says, even though she and Billy aren't at the moment. Instead, they appear to have just been making out on his sofa like a couple of high-school kids, until she remembered that she forgot to buy wine. Billy thinks it's "rude to bring wine to a pregnant house anyway." And thus we have confirmation of Brenda's reproductive status. Billy suggests, "We should just pick up some ice cream." And pickles. Claire insists that they should definitely buy wine, "in case they forgot that other people still drink." Hell, buy both; then you can make wine floats. She throws on a green shirt, wondering if it makes her look like a "total indigent." Billy suggests "that purple thing in the closet." Claire is pleasantly surprised to hear that it's there at his place, since she thought it was lost. Billy stands up and blurts, "Maybe you should just move in." Billy says it would be easier, since Claire's in his darkroom all day and sleeps over every night. Claire plainly likes the idea, but wonders how they would both work there. Billy says he can use his studio at school, "if [he] ever get[s] inspired to make anything again." And assuming he doesn't get fired for shtupping a student. Not that anyone is going to raise that issue in this episode, of course. Claire admits, "It would be a relief to never have to see my mother again." "You're gonna have to see her tonight," Billy reminds Claire. Just what she wanted to hear. She probably also doesn't want to hear that I think the "purple thing," threadbare and off the shoulder as it is, makes her look like only a partial indigent.
I also think it would have been a relief not to have to see Ruth's fucking oranges again, which she brought all the way to the hospital and then back home for some reason. What, does she just carry them around with her everywhere like Paris Hilton with her dog? Is she in one of those parenthood lessons they give high-school kids where they make them carry an egg everywhere, but with oranges? Whatever the case, Ruth is on the phone with Nate, backing out of going over there for tonight's dinner party. Well, Claire will be relieved. "I'm just feeling a little tired," Ruth answers when Nate expresses concern. Nate also asks about George, and Ruth breaks the news that George is coming home tomorrow night. "Oh, that's great," Nate says sincerely. "Is he going to be able to make it to the wedding?" "'Make it to the wedding'?" Ruth snaps back at him. "Do you have any idea what kind of state he's in?" Nate apologizes and reiterates the invitation for tonight, but Ruth sadly says she needs "one last quiet night." Don't we all. Nate hangs up as Brenda answers the knock at the door.