Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You May Be Invincible But That Doesn't Make You Funny
By Cindy McLennan | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.29.2011
Outside, Stefan tells Elena she shouldn't be there. Elena says, "Where else would I be?" Stefan asks her what she wants and says Damon won't be able to distract Klaus for long. Elena cries, "Come home," and then moves in to hug Stefan. Just as he finally closes his eyes, Elena raises her arm to stab him with a vervain dart, but Stefan catches her, hurts her hand until she drops the dart and gives Elena a dose of reality. "How much clearer can I make it? I don't want to come home."
Meanwhile, in the bar, Klaus holds Damon up by his neck tortures him with the wooden end of that little cocktail umbrella, which is even funnier than it sounds. Damon tries to play Let's Make A Deal. "You want a partner in crime? Then forget Stefan. I'm so much more fun." He's still being throttled so his voice and expression are hilarious. Klaus will have none of that. He tosses Damon across the bar, breaks off the leg of a chair, and is about to stake our Evil Pixie Monster when Gloria steps in and sets Klaus's stake on fire with her mind! Klaus is all, "Really?" Gloria says, "Not in my bar. You take it outside." Klaus tells Damon, "You don't have to negotiate your brother's freedom. When I'm done with him, he won't want to come back."
Outside, Stefan tells Elena that Klaus is obsessed with siring his little hybrid army. "The second he knows you're alive, he'll figure out why it's not working." Elena doesn't want him to protect her. She just wants him to come with her. Stefan: "And what do you expect if I do, huh? It's never gonna be the same, Elena." When she says she knows that, Stefan says, "I don't think you do. I've left bodies scattered from Florida to Tennessee -- innocent people. Humans." Elena: "Lexi found you like this before, in the '20s and she saved you." Stefan: "And you know what I did after that? I spent 30 years trying to pull myself together. To a vampire, that's nothing. To you? That's half your life." Elena says she can't give up on him. Stefan says, "Yes you can. It's done. That part of my life is done. I don't want to see you. I don't want to be with you. I just want you to go." He turns his back on her and walks away. Elena stands there, tears in her eyes, as she shakes her head. Vampires suck.
Elena is already sitting in the car, holding onto her necklace when Damon gets in. When he asks if she's okay, she says, "Just drive."
Fortress Forbes: Liz talks to Caroline, who is enjoying a nice, refreshing blood bag in bed, and tries to explain that as descendants of the Founders, she and Bill had all these generations worth of beliefs about vampires drilled into them. They were taught never to stray from those beliefs. Caroline says, "You did." Liz explains that's because Caroline showed her a different way. Caroline's voice is small as she says, "I just thought he was the one who got me." Liz says he did and he will again. Just then, Tyler comes to Caroline's bedroom door. Liz smiles at him as she rises from the bed. Caroline raises her head from the pillow. "Mom, thanks for believing in me." Liz smiles, pats Tyler on the shoulder and leaves the two lovebirds alone. Tyler walks into the room. "Would now be a bad time to give you crap about sneaking out on me?" Caroline laughs despite herself, and sits up until Tyler joins her on the bed, then she lays her head on his chest and cries. "He hates me. My dad hates me." Tyler kisses her hair and wraps his arms around her.