Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You May Be Invincible But That Doesn't Make You Funny
By Cindy McLennan | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.29.2011
When Damon gets back to the Magically Abandoned But Terrifically Well-Preserved, But Not All That Dusty, Considering Apartment, Elena is hiding out with a weapon of some kind, maybe a vervain dart or hypo. I can't tell. She can't believe it took him so long to get back to her. She called him an hour before. Damon throws her luggage at her and tells her to go change. He knows where Stefan is going to be tonight. Elena can't believe this is his reaction to learning she was nearly discovered by Klaus. Well, what the hell are you doing going after Stefan at this point, Elena? And Damon, did you take stupid pills this week? All he has to say for himself is, "I had an hour to realize what a bad idea it was to leave you here alone, process it, and move on." He waits a beat and then asks if she's okay. When she says she is, he tells her, "Get dressed. You're all road trippy and gross." Yeah, you know that Elena. She always looks a mess. Poor, unattractive thing. Elena asks, "So you know where he's going to be?" Damon says Stefan will be with Klaus, so Damon will distract Klaus, while Elena "deals with" Stefan. Elena: "Okay, thank you." Damon eyes her for a moment and then stands up. "But you're gonna have about five minutes tops before that hybrid freak rips my heart out, so please, tell me you can do this." Elena is full of resolve, if not common sense. "I can do this."
Gloria's Bar: Gloria is looking for Rebekah. Klaus says, "She'll be here. I can't conjure her on demand." Stefan then tries to tease out why Klaus wants him as his wing man. Is it because he liked the way Stefan tortured innocent humans? Klaus says that's half. The other half is that Stefan used to want to be Klaus's wing man.
1920s, Speakeasy: Stefan fluffs Klaus's ego. "They're jealous. Your family wants you dead because they can never be what you are." Klaus: "What -- an abomination?" Stefan says, "No, a king." Klaus laughs as he refers to him and Stefan as two sad orphans. He then warns Stefan that Rebekah is a force of nature when it comes to falling in love. "Be careful. She's totally mad." When Stefan thanks him, Klaus adds that eventually she will leave Stefan. "When she does, don't let your heart do anything stupid." Stefan nods, raises his glass and says, "You know, you're a good friend, Nik. I'm glad I met you." Back in the present day, Klaus raises his glass to Stefan and says, "To friendship."
Mystic Falls Torture Emporium: Caroline is all burnt and broken. Her Daddy is sitting on the floor, telling her that when Carol Lockwood told him Caroline was a vampire, he sat down and cried. Oh boo hoo for you, Bill. Caroline weeps as she tells him she learned to adapt. "I don't need to be fixed. I can't be fixed." He brings her the bag of blood again, and encourages her to fight the urge. She says she can't. She's starving. "Why are you trying to fix me?" Bill shouts, "So I don't have to kill you." At that, Caroline vamps out. Bill backs up. Caroline cries as she says she's sorry. Bill realizes the sun has gone down and says they'll try again tomorrow. When he locks her in the torture emporium dungeon for the night, he looks up to find Liz on the stairs above, aiming her gun at him. Mommy to the rescue! He pleads with her to let him handle this because he knows what he's doing. Liz reminds him that he has their daughter in there. "She looks up to you. She loves you." Bill: "And she'll trust me to do the right thing. Let me do this, Liz, not because she's a monster, but because we love her." Liz waits a beat, but never lowers her gun. She then calls Tyler, who flies down the stairs. Bill's all, "You're not going in there," so Liz fires a warning shot. Tyler opens the door, unshackles Caroline, retrieves her ring for her, puts it back on her, lifts her into his arms and carries her out.