Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Just Friends
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 01.16.2000
Cut to John putting his hands on every possible spot on his face. I. Get. The. Parallels. Between. John's. Character. And. Ally's. Character. Okay? Ally walks in and starts touching her own head. She calls his name and he tells her he was just "pinching [his] head." Ally puts her hands in the prayer position and starts bumping her lips with her fingers as she tells John how sorry she is about everything. This is executed with several LTRs and LTLs. She says she respects him and Nelle as a couple. Hair tuck. She says she was being unfair. John asks if she's apologizing for being honest. She says that sometimes being honest is really selfish. He starts to say something but decides to touch his head instead. She asks him to finish. If they are such the same person they might as well just talk telepathically and save me some time. John then recaps their relationship yet again by giving out a list of their "quirks" and the ways that they are perfect for each other. Ally marvels that he didn't stutter once while giving his monologue. I've never seen The Other Sister, but this is what I assume the dialogue is like. John says that he just came from his doctor and that he's figured out what he really, truly wants in his life. He wants Nelle for his girlfriend and Ally as his therapist. Ally acts like she's not hurt by what he just said and he acts like she shouldn't be as he reassures her that they are friends forever. He gives her a peck on the cheek and leaves as we go to commercial.
Elaine is checking herself out in the mirror at the Unisex. Ally is behind her waiting her turn. She says that Elaine looks like Miss Hathaway. Elaine says that if Billy can change, she can too. Nelle walks in and says morning to everyone. If it's the next day, then someone forgot to change Elaine and Ally, who are still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. Nelle, however, is wearing a big, puffy sweater. Elaine and Ally stare at Nelle. Nelle says she just said it was the morning, and that she didn't say it was good. Elaine asks Nelle how she thinks the other women regard her. Nelle squints up her eyes and says, "You know, I'm not sure that they do, Elaine." That's the meanest thing I've ever heard anyone say on this show. Most catty remarks are provoked. This seemed completely out of the blue and only there so that we don't like Nelle and want Ally to get with John. Elaine leaves without a word as Ally starts chastising Nelle. Nelle asks what happened to everyone's sense of humor. "Life isn't funny! Can you not see that?" Ally then smears red lipstick all over her mouth to complete her Robert Smith impersonation and walks out the door to begin her lonely walk down Fascination Street. Nelle gives a look like, "I guess I'm supposed to be a bitch in this episode. Sure is lonely having to hate everyone for absolutely no reason."