Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A+ | 860 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Sayid Jarrah And The Falling Star
By Cindy McLennan | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2010.03.02
Island Reality: Sayid storms into Yoko Dogen's Unholy of Unholies, demanding "answers." Raise your hand in the air if lines like that make you feel like the writers are snickering at the audience. Now wave it like you just don't care; sit back, and enjoy the ride. Anyhow and for starters, Sayid would like to know about the Templar's Princess Bride-esque torture machine/medical device. Yoko says that there's a scale within everyone. One side is good; one is evil. "This machine tells us how the scale is balanced." It's totally scientific, see? "Yours tipped the wrong way." Sayid whips out his impressive powers of deduction and correctly surmises that's why the Templars tried to kill him. Yoko says, "Yes. I think it would be best if you were dead." Sayid's all, You don't know my life! "I'm a good man, so if you're trying to kill..." Oh sheesh, shut up and fight, already!
Yoko (hearing my cry because he's a mystic) makes the first move -- sucker punching Sayid in the gut. Rather than making up terms for what are probably actual fight moves with already defined terms, I'll link you to this interpretive dance, instead. Suffice it to say they kick, punch, sweep the leg, throw potted plants, knock over metal racks, and bash each other with objects. At one point, Yoko beats Sayid with a pipe. Sayid beats Yoko with a broom. Silly Sayid, who brings a broom to a pipe fight? Pipe beats broom. Samurai beats Torturer. Yoko winds up on top, and just as he's about to stab Sayid (the slash just writes itself), the baseball rolls off Yoko's desk and onto the floor, reminding him that he hasn't yet done his fantasy draft. That takes more time than you'd think, so Yoko releases his grip on Sayid and banishes him, instead. "Go, leave this place and never come back." As Yoko walks away from his captive/victim and picks up his baseball, Sayid thinks: that's not cricket.
Jungle: Outside the Temple grounds, the camera pans over the ash circle and then over to Faucke, as he convinces Claire to deliver a message to the Templars. She whines that he should send Jin or Sawyer, or go himself. Faucke says, "If I could do it myself, I wouldn't be asking you, Claire." Claire weighs his words for a moment, or perhaps she's just fighting off the urge to bring up Jin and Sawyer again. Finally, she says, "If I go in there, I need to know you'll do what you said. I want my son back." Faucke says, "I always do what I say." Oh Claire, considering your "friend" is probably the entity that wore the guise of your dead father in order to tempt you into abandoning Aaron in the jungle, in the first bloody place, I hope you paid particular attention to focking Faucke's focking phrasing. Call it a hunch if you must, but I'm thinking he's not above playing the That Depends On What Is Is card. Claire can't hear me through her wig of wingnuttery, so starts out on her mission, but soon turns back toward her friend. "Are you going to hurt them?" Faucke: "Only the ones who won't listen."