Episode Report Card Erin: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sloane's Dead! Long Live Sloane!
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.17.2004
Syd jumps off her horse and goes over to Grasshoppah. He's failing fast. Vaughn brings the horses over and watches as Syd tries to attend to the man. "They…have The Restoration," he gasps. Oh, here we go again with the "The" names. Ignore. Ignore ignore. Glug glug glug. "The Passenger is compromised," he gasps some more. Syd removes her turban and tells him to breathe. As she bends over him, he says, "It's…you." Syd stops and looks at him. "The Passenger…she is…your destiny," he says. "How is she my destiny?" asks Syd. "As a friend? As an enemy? Tell me -- tell me that. Is The Passenger my mother?" "The Passenger…is…your sister…" Syd throws a look at Vaughn, who just looks back at her with an expression of mild constipation. Sorry. He does. Grasshoppah dies as The Horns Of Damn, We Didn't See That Coming kick into high gear.
Oops Center. For those of us who missed the first ten minutes of the show, Syd conveniently recaps what's happened so far for Jack. She's all, dude? The monk told me The Passenger was my sister. Jack's all, who was this guy? Syd's all, are you fucking serious? Bozo the damn Clown, that's who he was! Does it matter? Do I have a sister or not? Jack doesn't know. What he does know, however, is that Spy Mommy had an affair, and that that affair was with none other than Uncle Arvin. If she had a child, it's a good chance that Arvin's the dad. Syd goes to have a little one-on-one with old Uncle Arvy.
Uncle Arvin's Cage Of Caginess. He sees Syd enter and rushes over, all, dude! Glad you're here! I need your help! Syd, her eyes full of tears, just says, "Your execution cannot come fast enough." Sloane reiterates that he's innocent and that he was doing all the Rambaldi work for The Trust and that Senator Reed was his contact. In other words, he just tells us all what we already know. He tells her to check with Jack because he knows all this. Syd's just like, yeah, dude, if he thought you were innocent, he'd find a way to stay your execution. Even though you SHTUPPED HIS WIFE. Sloane kind of closes his eyes. "So…you know that," he says. "I have 72 hours to live. I want you to focus on that. Not on some affair I had 25 years ago." Well, dude, you kind of deserve to die anyway, so why not for an affair you had with her mother? I'd get behind that. And DON'T email me about the death penalty, dudes. JUST DON'T. He's a fictional character and he's a bad, bad man. So just live in the fantasy, okay?