Episode Report Card Jessica: C+ | 1 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT After Hours
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 21 | Aired on 04.30.2002
Grams's. Jack is knee-deep in calculus. Grams hands him a big cozy mug full of gingko-biloba-enriched tea. Which I'm sure tastes horrible. She's under the impression that it will help Jackers concentrate on The Mysteries Of Math. Jack thinks he's beyond a place where tea can save him. "I'm deep into fear and panic," he says. Grams exposits that all of Jack's other exams went well; surely this one will, too. Jack sputters that he can't "BS" this like an essay exam and it's not multiple choice and he doesn't have any notes and he doesn't know any of his classmates and blah blah blah Jack's Going To Fail Math. Don't ask me why Grams doesn't call her love thang, Clifton Smalls, Geometry Teacher, as I'm fairly sure that he's probably taken calculus at some point in his life, or knows someone who has. Instead, she casts around for an appropriate Biblical homily. "I love you, Grams, but please don't launch into a speech about Daniel and the lion's den," Jack asks plaintively. "David and Goliath?" she asks. Jack shakes his head. "Need some new material, eh?" Grams smiles, then gets up and takes the mug of tea away from him. "To hell with herbal tea," she says. "You need coffee and a lot of it. Now, hit those books. One way or another, we're going to get you through this." Yay, Grams said a bad word. Maybe Jen's tragic off-screen death has rocked her to the very core, leading her to use words like "hell" and "damn" with a newfound reckless abandon.
Dawson walks out of the movie theatre and right into Perky Film Critic, Amy Lloyd. "In all the movie joints in all the towns in all the world," she says to him by way of greeting. Dawson is pleased to see her, and they start walking together. Amy, it seems, was on a rather disastrous date. In fact, she left the guy in the movie theatre. There's some in-jokey commentary about the movie she walked out on (Storytelling, a film James Van Der Beek was cut from entirely), and the two of them head off companionably. "What sort of man sucks a Jordan almond?" Amy wonders. Heh. I can't help it; I like her. "Did anyone ever tell you you're a very critical person?" Dawson wonders. "We all have our gifts," Amy responds. I think I'm going to take that as a shout-out. Dawson muses that, in fact, she was recently quite critical of him, as she called Charlie Todd Flashes His Unit "imitative, derivative and full of unexplored potential." Amy wrinkles her brow and then points out that the review wasn't "a slam." She smiles at him winsomely. "I like your work, Dawson. More than you know," she tells him, before asking if he's at the movies on a date himself. He shakes his head, explaining that he's actually studying. Amy nods, and asks him back to her place to watch one of her favorite movies. It's called Amy The Film Critic Boffs The Big Giant Head. "How do you know I'm not a Jordan almond sucker?" Dawson wonders. Amy assures him that she knows. I didn't even know Jordan Almonds were available for purchase at the movies. I thought they were only used as tiny projectile missiles at wedding receptions.