Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: F | 1 USERS: F YOU GRADE IT Accept It: This Show Sucks
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.17.2002
Ling -- wearing white go-go boots, a blue flared mini, and a short-sleeved tennis sweater -- bounces off the elevator, smiling as broadly as a Russian ice dancer and delivers an ultra-perky "hey!" to everyone in the office. Everyone stares after her. Ling? Perky? She bounces into Richard's office and finally drops the happy crap: she's actually miserable because "nice is in," and in case he hadn't noticed, Ling "isn't nice." Aww! Ling, don't change! What am I saying -- I've already given up hope. Ling asks about John. Has he really left? And, is Richard lonely? He may call Ling if he ever does get lonely. Then she plasters that fake smile on her pretty, freckled face again and bounces out. Wow, that was a quick cameo.
Ally's late to her first staff meeting as partner. She sits at the head of the table, with Richard at her left. He looks small and unsure; Jenny, Glenn, and Corretta, uneasy. Nelle? Looks like she ate nails for breakfast and could kick like a mule at any second. Ally sees them all as being very far away from her. She shakes it off, then says she's going to make some "rather...brutal adjustments," and has scheduled individual meetings with each of them. Nelle gets to go last. Dum dum dummm! Ally assigns Richard and Corretta to work Dame Edna's sexual harassment/pink slip case. Nelle flatly asks that she get moved up to first, "to get it over with," but Ally refuses. She's saving Nelle for last. Dum dum dummm! I know I already made that ominous noise, but providing sound effects to the weak "tension" is the only thing keeping me entertained at the moment.
Richard meets with Dame Edna, who's rather despondent. And, not guilty of sexual harassment. She doesn't want to lose her job, because she might not be able to make the payments on her "Colonial home," which reminds her of "frankfurters," which, by the way, was a reason they offered for canning her: they said she was "suggestive" when she ate said hot dogs. Oh, sigh. Wing Chun, I now bet that this show gets canned this year. I know you said it won't get canceled, but with this drivel, how can it not? How, I ask you? ["I think you're right, especially because FOX is pulling it for weeks and sticking that Ally-merican Embassy show in its place. You're cursed!" -- Wing Chun]
Jenny coltishly bounces into Ally's office, closing the door behind her. Ally says she's sure Jenny's heard the rumors of someone being let go. Jenny says she pays no mind to rumors, and smiles happily. Jenny, do you get anything? Do you understand that Ally was trying to send you a clue? And that you were to get that clue? And that it wasn't Professor Plum in the wardrobe closet with a sheer blouse, but that YOU. ARE. GETTING. CANNED? Now? When Ally breaks the news, Jenny just blubbers like the baby she is. Ally hallucinates Jenny's head being sliced off by a sword, and Jenny's head rolling over on her desk and begging not to be fired, please. Ally offers an alternative to unemployment: There's a fictitious "program" in which Jenny can be "loaned out" to the D.A.'s office. There, Jenny can gain "tons" of trial experience, and the firm can pay a portion of her salary and have the D.A.'s office shoulder the rest. So Jenny is being "traded," if she agrees, and if not, she's shit-canned. So, she'll work for the D.A.'s office for the same salary? Why is she still crying? And why would she look right into Ally's eyes while she's blowing her nose comically?