Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT You're The Baptized!
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.03.2005
Rory is getting ready for her candy-striping assignment...in her insanely decorated room...wait. What the hell is on the walls? Is that wallpaper that looks like wood beams? IS IT? Is it paint? I must know. And then I must have my mind erased so that I forget it exists. The rest of the room, as much as we can see, I am totally down with, but what is happening on the walls?! No. We mustn't speak of it again. The maid du jour (and ha ha, she's French so that's twice as funny) comes in with an empty clothes rack and mutilates a French accent explaining that Meesees Geelmoorh has instructed her to clean out Rory's closet, removing the clothing that is no longer appropriate for the season. Rory says she doesn't really dress seasonally; rather she "goes with the flow." The maid says that that is what The Grandmother would like to "correct." Rory is mulling this over when her phone rings. It's Emily, calling from Helsinki. She says the city is cold and contains a population of walking dead; she goes on to widely insult Finland and all its people and culture, in general. Rory is trying to deter the maid from taking all her light layers while Emily rolls on. She says she'll be delayed an extra day and thus not back in time to host the DAR mixer that is to take place at the house. She wants Rory to do it. After all, there's nothing Constance Bedderton would like better than to oust Emily from the DAR "and then jump in the air like a cheerleader and land, doing the splits!" Rory cringes and, distracted by La Maid trying to remove white pants from her closet, says she'll be glad to host the mixer. (Note: No, girl, don't wear white after Labor Day. I know such rules are old-fashioned. I get that. But winter white exists for this very reason, so just...please.) Emily is grateful (as much as she can be) and says she'll check in later to brief Rory on some of the canapés. "Good," Rory says. "I'm rusty on canapés." She turns in time to see that the maid has made off (again, ha!) with most of her wardrobe.
At the Dragonfly, Sookie and Jackson are throwing down. Apparently, Jackson has agreed to have their children baptized and is assuring Sookie that, since they don't believe in the religious aspect of it, a baptism is kind of like taking a bath. For one thing, the "religious aspect" of a baptism is the ONLY "aspect" of a baptism. Sookie says that, in a bath, you get candles and water-warped Entertainment Weekly magazines, so that being baptized is nothing like taking a bath, which is quite true, but not the point. Lorelai is there to witness all of this, just wanting to get some coffee. Jackson asks her to look at the baptism as a bargaining chip: "If we give my mother this, it'll soften the blow when she finds out we're not having more children, because of the vasectomy." Man, I hate this storyline a lot, already. I see that it's just an excuse to get Jackson's family into the picture, but...well, I hate it and will count the ways as we continue. It comes out that Sookie's biggest problem is that the in-laws will want to stay at her and Jackson's house if they have the baptism. Dude, I feel you. That is not an ideal situation. She doesn't want his mom blasting her Flatt & Scruggs CD and his cousins picking their teeth with her paring knives. Jackson gets offended and reminds her of the time they sat through her cousin Odell's nine-hour stuttering production of Nicholas Nickleby. Sookie says that's a lot different than having to spend three whole days with Jackson's family in their house, and tries to add up all the hours they'll have to spend with them until she nearly breaks down. "Whoa, Sookie," Lorelai interrupts. "Don't do math. You know that hurts your head." Lorelai then has the brilliant idea of having the family stay at the inn for the weekend. Sookie asks if that would really be okay, and Lorelai has to remind Sookie that she's part owner of the Dragonfly. Jackson says that would really help. Lorelai says she'll take care of the arrangements, and that Sookie can just deal with the post-baptism party. Sookie freaks and says she didn't even know anything about such a party, but...she has some late-summer salad recipes she could try out. Lorelai is glad and leaves as the couple starts a new fight about Jackson's zucchini. Hee. Jackson's zucchini. Sookie: "I christen these vegetable sucky!"