Episode Report Card DeAnn Welker: C- | 135 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Hiro Quixote and Ando Panza
By DeAnn Welker | Season 4 | Episode 13 | Aired on 2010.01.04
An open-air market in Tokyo. Hiro materializes finally. Remember when his time travel used to be instant? But now it seems to take several episodes for him to materialize once he's disappeared. Anyway, he looks around then spots a guy making noodles, runs up and says, "Good Citizen. I am a humble knight from the Starship Enterprise. I seek my first officer, Sancho Panza." The guy asks him if he'd like miso, soy, or salt with his crazy. But Hiro wants Sancho Panza, his sidekick. The vendor's like, "No sidekick. Noodles!" Hiro hears a girl screaming for someone to help her from a purse-snatcher. Hiro says, "A Jedi's work is never done," and heads over, after grabbing the noodle vendor's meat cleaver. He tells the purse-snatcher to "Unhand the princess or feel the sting of my light saber." When the guy ignores him, Hiro slices the purse handle with the meat cleaver and says "There can be only one." He hands the purse back to the woman and says, "Your handbag, my Dulcinea." Dude, whatever. Don Quixote loved Dulcinea, and if this show's continuity is to be believed, Hiro loves Charlie, so even with crazy head, he wouldn't call some random woman in an open-air market Dulcinea. He stands up straight and says, "Citizens of Caprica: You are saved. The Cylon has been defeated." When a cop stops him, he shouts, "Lancelot! C-3PO! At last, you can direct me to my faithful sidekick." The cop just tells him to drop the knife and then handcuffs him. Hiro screams for his sidekick as they take him away.
Across a canyon from the Carnival, Samuel walks up to a rock and as the camera pans around it, the rock becomes black and white and Emerson, Lake & Palmer's Karn Evil 9 starts up. When the camera gets around the rock, Young Samuel is trying to move Earth when another young boy (Joseph) with a thick Irish accent comes and tells him to give it up. Samuel moves a little bit of ground, and when Joseph's snide about it, Samuel tells him to just wait, that he'll move bigger rocks someday, and people will come from all over the world to see him. Joseph says Samuel must mean Vanessa and then teases him (as any big brother would), all, "Ooooh, Vanessa. Come and see my big dirt-moving show!" He can't believe Samuel's still carrying a torch for "that girl," since they're never going back there. But Joseph promises if Samuel can get people to buy a ticket to see a kid not move a rock, he'll invite her himself. Samuel tells him, "Just you wait," and then we're back with the Samuel of today repeating the "Just you wait." Because we all are supposed to care about this Vanessa character whom we haven't heard one word about until now? Commercials.