Episode Report Card Kim: B | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Happy Birthday, Baby!
By Kim | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on April 21, 2003
Jess walks into Luke's apartment like Eminem in 8 Mile with the hoodie and all. Luke has been waiting for him, and offers to make some sandwiches for Jess's date with Rory. Jess refuses in the snittiest tone possible, and I think Luke should just stab him in the head. I hate Jess! Jess then proceeds to dis the fact that Wal-Mart sells sanitized versions of CDs, like there are about forty-five other small businesses in Stars Hollow so why not work somewhere else if Wal-Mart offends you so much, pinko? See what Jess does to me? I hate Wal-Mart's policy, but now Jess has forced me to align with them. Luke tries to bring up Jess's situation, and how busy he is. Jess puts some crap in his hair and Luke is so distracted that he asks, "You ever worry that if a bird flies into your head, it might never get out again?" Hee! Luke offers to make things easier for Jess by giving him a raise at the diner and helping out with his car insurance. What has Jess done to deserve that? Jess is suspicious and Luke says that Jess could quit his job at Wal-Mart, and have more time to spend with Rory and at school. Jess insists that he's fine. Luke urges Jess to take the deal, but Jess won't, so Luke yells that he knows Jess isn't going to school. Jess says that he goes enough, and that "it's public school" so his "history teacher is also the football coach." As someone whose father was a public-school history teacher who also coached football (among other sports), fuck off, Jess. I'm sorry you're too smart for school. Luke reminds Jess of their deal, and Jess insists that he has it all under control and leaves.