Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hard Candy Mary Christmas
By Gwen | Season 5 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.17.2000
Lucy walks into the kitchen in what looks like boxer shorts and a spaghetti-strap sports bra. It's a matching ensemble, actually. Robbie sees this and tells her that he always pictured her family in robes -- big robes. Lucy says that she always pictured Robbie in his own house instead of in her kitchen at 10 PM. They discuss Mary's anger at the world. Robbie assures Lucy that he's only spending one night at the CamPound. Lucy rolls her eyes at Robbie's duffel bag full of dirty laundry and then runs up the stairs. Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope you enjoyed Lucy's bare midriff and legs. All we need now is Mary in a tight sweater and the celebration of Christ's birth will be complete.
Lucy runs into her parents' room to express her surprise that Robbie's staying at their house. RevCam quickly susses out the fact that Robbie saw Lucy in her underwear or swimsuit or whatever it is. Lucy makes a mild, unfunny comment regarding Annie's nightwear and the scene ends. Lucy, your parents have sex. It's not an appealing reality, but you need to get over it.
Simon is on the phone telling someone, "Your hair is so…girly." My guess is that he's talking to Matt. He goes on to say that the girly hair is sexy. Lucy barges in to bitch about Robbie, but Simon dismisses her. After she does her trademark face of frustration and stomps out, Simon assures his phone friend that Lucy "doesn't know." And furthermore, Simon doesn't care. Ooh -- a mystery! I'm curious to know in what way Simon's friend's identity will be boring and anticlimactic.
Lucy goes to vent her emotions to Ruthie, but Ruthie isn't in bed. She's downstairs, getting into Robbie's business. She asks him about sleeping in the great outdoors, then tries to tempt him into borrowing Matt's freshly laundered pajamas. Why are Matt's pajamas freshly laundered if he doesn't live there anymore? Oh, well. Who cares? Let's just roll with the Christmas spirit, here. RevCam comes down to shoo Ruthie away. He tells Robbie that the bathroom is upstairs, and Robbie inexplicably starts to haul all his belongings up with him. I guess the ways of the homeless have already rubbed off on him. Maybe he'll get a little grocery cart with which to push his stuff around the CamPound. RevCam says some junk about the family rule against walking around naked. Robbie pretends he isn't disappointed that he won't be seeing Eric's manly chest that night.
Over at the Swinging Bachelor Pad, John and some chick make out on the couch. Matt lies on his bunk, studying and clearing his throat. After the throat-clearing becomes loud choking and retching, John asks Matt for a word in private. In the hall, John basically tells Matt to get the hell out of the apartment and give him some privacy with his new girlfriend, Priscilla. Matt protests jealously for a bit. John steps back into the apartment to give Matt his jacket and keys. Then he locks the door from the inside. Matt walks away in his pajamas and socks. I want to know who thinks Matt's shtick is ever funny.