Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Big Rocks and Candy Mountains
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 08.24.2009
Celia shows up at a lucha match with a giant purse full of money. Ignacio's giving autographs and, she can smell, has triumphed. "El Perro Insano always triumphs!" Ignacio yells, to much appreciation, and a cute little white nerd points out that he was actually defeated by El Doctor on two separate occasions. Ignacio responds by ripping up his tarjeta in his face and howling, of course, so everybody cheers and the kid is whatever and Celia's like, "EXCUSE ME HOW DO I DO OUR DRUG DEAL?" He tells her to leave the money and take the weed, duh, and she realizes that its beauty lies in its simplicity, but then notices a black guy in a fedora with a police badge, and panics. She runs off, and Ignacio screams all manner of threats at her, but I was more worried about the cop guy, who looks totally weird, like the cop guy from 7th Heaven that now plays the school counselor on The Secret Life Of Imaginary Unrealistic People. Which thought made me feel weird, but then he's obviously a plant in this Isabel Plan, so I got the shivers thinking it was Doug in blackface, but then I was like, "No way, not even this show." And then I just felt guilty for going there.
Question 27. Is friendship, in matters of true love: 1) Overblown, 2) Fundamental, 3) A waste of time, or 4) A bonus. He goes, "Glad you asked that!" And she tells him to stop giving speeches every time, because it's frickin' multiple choice. "There are certain nuances that merit examination..." he begins, and she's like, "Here we go. This." He asks if she and Esteban aren't friends, and she says they sort of are -- they sort of are -- but it's not really something that comes up. "Because I think it's fundamental!" Andy crows, which disgusts her because that was one of the choices. I never thought about that, but Nancy and multiple choice is like a terrible idea. "I choose A, but only to fuck with C!"
They talk about fun times, watching movies together, and she calls him a lamoid, essentially, and he says without those things it's just about sex. "It's always just about sex with you," she points out to much whining, and then nails it on the first try: That he spent a couple days banging this chick, and now assumes that they are in love and have to get married so he can finally be a man. Instead of realizing how retarded that sounds, he agrees, and she's grossed out. "Jesus, Andy. You just... I mean, you're not in love with this person." He doesn't disagree. "What if this is my shot for a nice, normal life? With a doctor? And a family of my own?"