Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Big Rocks and Candy Mountains
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 08.24.2009
Nancy and Cesar are dealing with a gay admin on the 11th floor now, who responds to her screaming with a maddening calm and an ironic, pissy "Learn the fucking language." She keeps going, demanding Esteban, demanding this and that, and he's like, "Yeah, keep speaking to me in English. It's obviously getting you somewhere." She demands somebody who speaks English, and he pushes some more of her buttons, and finally Cesar carries her away from him -- sticking her tongue out like a demon at this point -- and putting her down. Cesar threatens the guy meanly, and he gives him a heaping helping of 'tude as well, and it's "Free Goat" levels of amazing/viscerally frustrating. Maybe "Punishment Light" even. They have nailed bureaucracy once again. This is the best episode of the season, I think.
Nancy asks Andy if he ever thinks about going back and doing things differently, and Andy says right now he'd like to time travel to 1974: "What To Wear To An Orgy," he reads. "Apparently the presence of underwear signals your desired level of participation." She's grateful to have moved on from the lame quiz, but saying so signals her desired level of participation, so he goes back to it. This one is rough, if '70s-inflected: what fuels the search for true love? A) Passion. B) The need for sex. C) Emotional and financial support. D) The basic human need to feel connected, and leave the prison of alone-ness.
Which is what Esteban comes down to. Answer this one and you win everything. The fact that it's a trick question doesn't even matter. Just go. Boyhood romance is repugnant, but you've done worse in your time. Stop thinking like a hammer.
Silas opens a bottle of wine and watches the dicks laugh and snuggle Adelita's unconscious self. Shane's like, "Those fucking dicks are still here?" Shane says they smoked heroin, but makes sure Shane understands that he is drug-free, except for pot. And the wine he's drinking. Shane watches them prepare to gang-rape their sister and points out that they suck. Silas has a point too: "She kinda sucks."
Shane worries about her two sisters in France, who presumably could also show up with douchebags in tow at any time. Silas slides a glass of wine over to Shane and they toast, to "This thing we're doing now, here, in this ridiculous place." Shane thanks him for not leaving, and he jokes that he's leaving tomorrow, laughing. The boys have her shirt off now. Shane asks if they should do anything, because she is truly out of it, and Old Silas rears his head: "Apparently these are the guys her dad wants her to fuck, so..."