Episode Report Card Niki: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Wake Up, Little Susie
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.23.2000
Meanwhile, Jessie's the topic of conversation back at the Manning ranch, too. Zoe wants to know if Grace has classes with her. Grace, entirely insulted, wants to know why she'd "have classes with a ninth grader." Jake breezes in the back door, sporting a longer haircut that just doesn't do anything for him. But then, you should see mine right now, so who am I to judge? Grace asks, "Can we not go to school?" as she gives daddy a big hug. Jake pulls out his standard response to the question we've heard before: "Sure, you can come work in the restaurant." He then lists the worst chores they can imagine, and the girls cave. Jake segues into the restaurant's actual business, asking them to guess who's coming in that night. And adding that, by the way, he can't take the kids. That gets Lily's attention, and she looks up with visible irritation from the lunch she's packing and asks, "What?" As usual, Jake's sporting his Lily Ears, which allow him to tune out her whining and sniping at will, and he proceeds to tell them that the restaurant critic from the Chicago Tribune will be there. He's not supposed to know, but he got a heads-up. Lily announces that he has plans for that night. And it's not like her financial situation is at all connected to the success of the restaurant, so why wouldn't snogging Rick be more important? Grace points out that she's old enough to sit. Zoe agrees, and so does Jake. Lily's first instinct is to protest, but then she thinks better of it (maybe she got her stop valve fixed during the hiatus?) and agrees that it's "not a problem." But she doesn't sound totally convinced.
"Houston, we have a problem," Lily says. (Ba-dum-bum.) She's called Rick from her office. Rick emits a groan. "I know, me too," Lily answers. Apparently, she speaks fluent sexual frustration. He asks what's up, and she tells him that Jake can't take the kids. "Tell me," Rick purrs, seeming not to have heard what she just said. "Oh, not here," Lily says into her headset while glancing over her shoulder. "I saved myself for you while I was away," Rick confesses. Lily is flattered and asks, "Really?" "Well, I thought of you while I didn't," Rick admits. He what -- thought of her while he was with someone else? While he yanked the Rick Stick (shout out to Mr. Uncle Bob)? Whatever, man, it's more than I ever needed to know. And really, don't discuss these things at work. Rick asks if she saved herself for him. "It's not the same without you," Lily evades by stating the obvious. "I'm comin' over tonight after your kids are asleep," Rick growls. "What's not the same?" Crusty asks from behind Lily. Lily gasps and spins around to find her boss smiling expectantly at her while holding a fuzzy pencil. "Oh, just something someone was saying," Lily says. "Oh, hi Rick!" Crusty chirps. Wait a minute. What have you done with Crusty? Where is she? Why doesn't she want to know why Lily's having phone sex with her boyfriend instead of rushing around doing her bidding? Why has she suddenly changed her mind and decided that she does want to know about Lily's private life? And most importantly, where are the fangs and claws? Crusty, what have they done to you?