Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Last Tango In Agrestic
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 08.27.2006
Night. Silas sits on a lawn across the street from Megan's and waits for her to come out. When she does, he hoarsely says, "I fucking miss you." She says she misses him too, but would like it if he were to stop being an asshole. Silas says that if they only have a few more months together, he wants to make them count, so that they both remember this era for the rest of their lives. How could they make this time memorable. Oh! Scrapbooking project?
Or, fucking like they just invented it. Yeah, that works too. Cut to a montage of attractive teenaged sex. Not complaining? Me. We see that they're being safe, as Silas opens a succession of condoms. There is also a succession of positions, and then the happy couple head for the enormous, apparently room-sized shower (though its prodigious size doesn't matter when the water comes on with another ominous moan). Oh, luxury multi-head shower: one day you will be mine!
Elsewhere in the house of love, a plumber is summarizing his work on a clipboard as he tells Nancy that someone's been flushing tube socks down the toilet. Nancy has no concept of how such a thing could occur, but the plumber matter-of-factly asks whether she has a pre-adolescent son and, learning that she does, theorizes that he's been flushing his "jerk socks." Worst Caribbean dish ever, by the way. Nancy doesn't know what that means, so a passing Lupita explains that Shane makes the "man salsa" in his socks and then flushes them. Nancy muses that they never had that problem with Silas, and Lupita informs her that Silas used t-shirts, and hid them in the bottom of the laundry. God, why would you jerk off in a shirt when you had a shower that big? The plumber tells Nancy, "You or your husband should talk to him," because otherwise the guy will just have to come back in a couple of days to snake the pipes again. Once he's gone, Nancy sighs, "Me or my husband." Lupita agrees that it would have been more convenient if Shane had discovered masturbation before Judah's untimely death. Heh. Nancy gets a text from Peter: "what have we done?" She chuckles to herself.
Oh, man. So Nancy tries to be a grownup and have a calm, reasonable, sensible discussion with Shane about whacking it. She explains about the plumbing and the socks, leaving an opening (as it were) for him to confess. Shane suggests that Lupita might have flushed socks because she's too lazy to wash them, but then Nancy looks down at Shane's naked ankle and he's busted. Nancy tries to be circumspect, asking whether Shane's noticed any changes lately in his body. Shane doesn't get her meaning at all, so Nancy's finally forced to come right out (as it were) and say she's talking about changes with his penis. Shane, alarmed, asks what's wrong with his penis, and Nancy says that nothing is: "It's perfectly natural." Shane asks what's natural. Nancy: "Stuff that comes out when you rub it." Shane says he has to go to school. Nancy happily dismisses him. Ouch.