Episode Report Card Erin: F | 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT "The Shed"? It's more like The Shit. And not in the good way.
By Erin | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.12.2005
Rooftop of Characters In Need of Just a Little Push Over the Edge...Boobs is standing off by herself, utilizing Expression #12: Mild Angst. Down in the hotel room, Jack asks Getty how Boobs is doing, and Getty says she's doing as well as can be expected. Jack mentions something about Substance 33 going to the highest bidder and Getty says that Boobs knows nothing about that because it's classified and all classified stuff is stored on Dean's own server and DOES NO ONE REMEMBER THE BODY IN THE (FAKE) NIRIDIUM CHAMBER FROM LAST WEEK? Like, way to drop about five storylines IN ONE FELL SWOOP. I just refuse to care about a storyline that feels like it was shoved in here to introduce two new characters that are supposed to possibly be spun off into a new series when this one finally dies a slow and horrible death.
Tell me, what would have been so wrong with Vaughn "dying" and then Syd seeing him off in the corner of her eye at the funeral and spending the rest of the season trying to either prove that he's really dead or really alive or slowly going mad in the process, which was all the evil plan of Rambaldi in the first place and then she'd give birth and the baby would be stolen BY VAUGHN, who is really alive and a direct descendant of Rambaldi and Syd has to save her baby and come to terms with the fact that her fiancé was, indeed, a rather bad man and he's in cahoots with IRINA and maybe even JACK and Syd's all alone and it all wraps up in the final episode with Vaughn, Irina, and Jack showing up and saving Syd at the last minute and telling her that they were actually trying to SAVE the baby from the bad people and everyone lives happily ever after and...WHY COULDN'T I WRITE THIS DAMN SHOW?
Uch. Whatever. I just gave myself a headache. So, Jack asks how much Boobs knows about Dean's operation and Getty says that Dean calls it "The Shed" because the writers were on vacation and some guy named Arty who cleans the floors found a discarded script and no one was around so he totally pulled out a pencil and rewrote the whole thing, but his handwriting was really bad so when he wrote "The Shit" and thought he was being really funny, the production people thought he wrote "The Shed" and that's why we're stuck with this stupid fucking name for a quasi-evil organization.
Getty tells Jack that Boobs is willing to cooperate completely and give them everything she can. Jack asks Marshall if they can access Dean's dedicated server. Marshall says there's an encryption key on it that changes daily, but if he can get inside, he might be able to crack it. Jack declares that Marshall going in is too dangerous, but sending Boobs in just might work. Too bad she's not a field agent. Besides, she's too busy sobbing her little boobs off upstairs on the roof. Jack states that they don't have a choice. They need to get in there and get to that server. Syd exits onto the roof and walks over to Boobs, telling her they need some help.