Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT But What About The Mattress?!
By Pamie | Season 4 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.29.2003
Tess tells everyone always to have their keys on them, never to open the door for strangers, and always to walk in twos at night. Who are these hints for? She asks if anyone has questions. They don't. "Later on, you'll have questions," she tells them. "Now go do stuff," she says, and walks away. Rory wanders back into her enormous dorm room. A small girl with frizzy hair shoots past Rory and quietly sits in a chair. Rory decides not to say hello or introduce herself to her new roommate. Instead, Rory goes to her own room. So friendly. She stares at the new girl from behind the mostly-closed door. The girl is studying a map. Lorelai walks in, shouting to Rory, asking if she's back. Lorelai stops when she sees the new girl in the room. She smiles, but doesn't say hello. Neither does the new girl. Rory and Lorelai make faces at each other. Rory calls Lorelai into her room.
Once in Rory's room, Lorelai asks who that is out there. Rory claims that the girl followed her in there "like a puppy dog." Someone likes herself, huh? Lorelai says that the girl might be lost. Rory just now figures out that the girl could be one of her suitemates and now she's off to a great start. Lorelai: "Do you know how vulnerable you are to venereal disease?" Rory: "All hail the queen of the non sequiturs." Lorelai says she was just at a parents' orientation that was a non-stop litany of the horrors of the freshman experience. "You're supposed to carry a whistle, a flashlight, a crucifix, and a loaded Glock with you at all times." Rory says they should go out there so the girl doesn't think they are hiding. Lorelai warns Rory not to shake hands because of the bacteria, and that they shouldn't tell the girl where they live.
Lorelai and Rory lean out the door and look at the girl again. Lorelai tells Rory to say something -- anything. They walk over to the girl. Rory says hi. The girl says hi, and stands up. There's quiet as the three stare at each other for a little while. Finally, the girl opens her mouth and offers, "I'm adopted." Rory looks at Lorelai and says, "You're up." Lorelai asks her name. It's Tana Schreck. Lorelai does all of the introductions for Rory. Tana tells the girls that as they're ransacking your room, professional thieves tend to start on the bottom drawer and move up so they don't have to close drawers before opening the next one, thus saving time. Lorelai says she'll never store her valuables in the bottom drawer. Rory makes a pitifully wounded face. Tana admits she's not so good at extemporaneous speaking, so she memorizes a few conversational facts that she can whip out at a moment's notice. She promises that once she gets to know the girls, the facts will be more catered to their personalities and hobbies. Lorelai asks Tana how old she is. Tana is sixteen. On Tuesday. "Happy birthday, Doogie," Lorelai says. Tana thanks her. Tana's parents are at "the hotel." Tana's mom is napping, and her dad is taking a schvitz. Lorelai says that she and Rory have more stuff to do, but maybe Lorelai can meet Tana's parents when she and Rory come back. Tana promises that her parents make a very good first impression. Lorelai and Rory start to go, but Tana asks Rory if she's nervous. Rory admits that she is. "Okay," Tana smiles. "Good." Rory leaves, and Tana waves with her hand near her other hand, in a wrist-twisting motion. Tana waves like Rory hugs.