Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT But What About The Mattress?!
By Pamie | Season 4 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.29.2003
Outside, we see that the truck is filled with more things for Rory, along with Rory's old mattress from Yale. Lorelai says she didn't know that she needed a second trip. Luke asks why the engine's still running. Lorelai says the ignition key is just as misogynistic as the stick shift. Good thing Jess is gone, or Luke's truck might have been stolen. Luke takes the key out and tells her she has to jiggle it a little. Lorelai says he never told her about a jiggle. "It's common sense," he tells her. Lorelai: "Oh. That." Hee. Luke asks about the mattress. Lorelai says it's the Yale-supplied mattress filled with microbes dating back to Henry "Box" Brown. Lorelai says she was hoping Luke would store it for her. He says no. She says, "Come on!" He says no. She says she can't take it back to Yale. He says he's not storing her microbe mattress. She says she's stuck there. He says that's great because he needs his truck. She says that leaves him with the mattress. He says he's not taking the mattress. She says that means she'll have to borrow the truck. He says she'll be taking the mattress, then. She says she can't take the mattress. He says she can't have the truck, then. She says that then sticks him with the mattress. Oy, with the mattress already. He says that if she takes the truck, it comes with the mattress. She says she can't take the mattress. He says she can't take the truck. She says that sticks him with the mattress. He says they've been here before. "I recognize that tree," Lorelai says. Pause while we shake our heads slowly.
Rory unpacks her large books. Tana comes in and says that the other suitemate has arrived, and that she's a little weird. She says she can't remember her name because she's terrible with names, but she knows it's the name of a city like Athens or Rome or something. We then hear the sounds of our beloved Paris. Rory leaves her room, shocked. "How shocked are you?" Paris asks her. Paris is out of uniform, which is wonderful, and her hair is out of ponytail, which is great. And I think she's getting to wear her real boobs and not that Ace bandage anymore, so I couldn't be happier. Paris informs Lorelai that she's going to Yale, and that they're going to be suitemates. Paris tells Rory to give her a hug, but first she checks it out with the bald man who has been at her side this entire time. He nods, so Paris runs to Rory and hugs her really hard. Rory says that this is a "massively big surprise." Paris says she was going to call, but then thought it'd be better to be right in Rory's face. Rory says she can't feel her face anymore. Paris says that this is a good thing. Rory agrees, but then pushes her nose to the side and says it feels like clay. Paris introduces Terrence, her life coach. "Your what?" Rory asks. Paris says, "Don't judge." Her nanny went and opened a pupuseria in Boise, so Paris was lost. Her rabbi once again conferred with her therapist who talked to a hypnotist who suggested a life coach. Terrence is her own personal queer eye for the queer gal. She says he's done so much for her, already, from updating her wardrobe to finding her a kick-ass gyno, to making her be able to cope with the little things. Paris wheels to the side, squints, and tells Tana, "For instance. The old Paris would have been bothered by your penchant to hover. It would have made her want to wring your neck until your eyeballs popped out." "Oh," Tana says. But now Paris just accepts it because she can't control it. Paris shakes Tana's hand as Rory introduces her. Tana tells Paris that in ancient times, surnames often reflected a person's origin or occupation. They were descriptive, as well as utilitarian. "So what does Tana mean?" Paris asks. "Nothing," Tana says. But Tana's not her surname, so.... Paris asks Rory how her face is doing. "Better," Rory says. Paris peeks into the bedroom they'll be sharing and gleefully announces to Terrence, "I got my southern exposure!" Terrence gasps, "I'm a happy camper!" Rory says this is a "weird, weird coincidence." Paris says it's not really. She had told Terrence all about Rory, and he felt strongly that Paris's life journey with Rory wasn't over yet, so Paris's dad put in a call. The strummy-strummy starts up as Rory gives Terrence the stink-eye. He nods and smiles back. Rory turns back around and pouts.