Episode Report Card Omar G: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Slash-o-Vision
By Omar G | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 11.05.2001
Lana finds what she's looking for in the hallway at school: Jocko Whitney. She sidles up to him, all flirtatious in her pink outfit (again with the pink?), and tries to seduce him. She hugs and kisses and displays a personality. In other words, it's not really Lana. "What's gotten into you?" Jocko asks her. She looks a mite sexy here. He says he could get used to the new, more ho-y Lana. Jocko mindlessly says he has homework to do. Yeah. Right. Shapeshifta' Lana asks to borrow his jacket. He hands it over. She shifts back after he leaves, one letterman jacket wiser.
Clark and Pete are walking down the street past some pumpkins on display. "So you're telling me Tina can bend her bones like a contortionist?" Sneaky Pete asks. Notice the complete lack of arousal at that remark on Clark's part. X-Ray Boy confirms that bit of trivia. "I'm sorry. This is usually Chloe's territory. I cover girls, football, and general guy stuff," Pete says. Chloe, he tells Clark, covers Tales of the Unexplained. I should ask her about Shapeshifta' Girl's kryptonite body and why it doesn't affect our hero. X-Ray Boy says he called Chloe, and she said she was busy. You know what happened to Clark? He got Dismissed. Is Pete still talking? Shut up, Pete. Clark and Pete make it to the front door of the antique shop. It's closed, but that's no problem for X-Ray Boy. He's broken and entered four weeks running. But alas, this time he doesn't have to. He uses his super vision and sees a human body stuffed in a shrunk. Is "shrunk" the right word? Or am I thinking curio cabinet? Or armoire? Or perhaps it's a vanity. Whatever it is, it stinks of dead body. Clark panics and says he has a hunch and has to get inside the antique shop. Now they do break and enter, through the back. Pete doesn't even seem to mind all that much. Clark goes straight to the...uh...wooden thing, and opens the door. A bloated, very dead body of Shapeshifta's Mom rolls out. This is Pete's big Emmy moment. He says, with no inflection: "Whoa. Who's that?" Get that acceptance speech ready, Sneaky Pete. X-Ray Boy actually tells Pete here that he can see through walls, but Pete just says, "Very funny," and asks how she died. "Broken neck," Clark says, blowing his cover once again. This time Pete takes him a little more seriously. "I'm guessing," Clark adds, lamely. X-Ray Boy finds some notes on top of a counter. It's miles of attempted "Lana Lang" signatures. Clark supposes that Shapeshifta' Girl is going to "take it to the next level" with Lana. Hopefully with some romantic, non-alt-rock music. "She wants to become Lana," Clark says ominously. I guess that works, too.