Episode Report Card Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Father, Why Bother?
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.17.2004
And now Ruthie's still trying to Get Herself a Man by offering him his choice of cookies, even though I thought SamVid and Happy had pretty much polished them off earlier in the show, but maybe there was a three-for-one sale on bags of Brenda's Cookies. Mac asks Ruthie to pick for him. "I pick fruit," she says seductively, and it would have actually been funny and made sense if Ruthie had said "I like…bananas." Mac asks for chocolate chip cookies as Lucy walks through, taking a good ten seconds to stare at Ruthie and Mac, like, it might be time to get yourself a hobby, Luce.
Ben enters the waiting room, which is now empty and dark. How did he get in? Doctor Englishface comes wandering out in her street clothes and asks Ben what he's doing there. He starts by saying that she was a "little rough" on his brother earlier, and DE tells Ben that if he's "come to start a row" (rhymes with "how") and then she trails off and waits for Ben to deliver his line. Of course, he asks what a "row" is, because the English are such a funny people with their "colour" instead of "color" this and "chips" instead of "French fries" that. Anyway, DE threatens to call security until Ben says he just wanted to ask her out for "fish and chips." Surprisingly enough, this doesn't hasten DE's walk to the security phone, but rather, she asks why Ben wants to have dinner with her. "Because you're hot!" he says. Ben sure is a smooth talker. Ben says it's also because his and Kevin's dad died when they were in high school, so Kevin has no idea how to be a father, or something. DE says she'll give Kevin a call and apologize, and she apologizes to Ben for being mean to him, and for having a dead dad. Ben asks her out again, saying that they can have something besides fish and chips, although he doesn't know what else her "people" eat. Somehow, I think this scene would lose all of its intended "humor" if, say, the doctor was Mexican or Chinese, and Ben was acting like her "people" were some weird alien race. DE asks if Ben has some high testosterone job, because she likes the sensitive artist type. And sure, maybe in theory the sensitive artist type is appealing, but when you actually date him and he's too sensitive to make any kind of move on you and you don't want to look like some super-aggressive Boadicea so you don't try anything either, and then the relationship keeps going because at least he's harmless and says nice things to you but there's really no chemistry there plus he never wants to go out or meet any of your friends so you finally dump him and he cries and then you feel like an asshole, you see how it can suck in actuality. Or so I've heard. Ben claims to be a "flutist," (pronounced "flute-tist," hardy har har) and DE says she knows he's a firefighter. And even though Ben's a liar, and stupid, and has a "high testosterone" job DE claimed not to like, she agrees to go out with him, and says they'll just pick up her children on the way. And even though DE is at least ten years older than him and makes him take her kids out on their dates, Ben still wants to go out with her. Although I guess that makes sense considering that the last time he was in Glenoak, he was all over Paris.
Martin, Mac, and Ruthie head out for pizza, walking by RevCam and SamVid, who are cleaning the grill. SamVid say they don't want Ruthie to go out with the guys. RevCam says they have "good protective instincts" over the women in their family, but women can take care of themselves. Except for the episodes where a woman needs RevCam to protect her from her abusive husband or get her kid adopted. RevCam spouts some more crap about the function of families and communities until Wilson comes through the back gate. And he's looking puffy. And oily. Like the worst possible combination of Matt and Chandler's genes. He stands there, panting from the effort of carrying his grease-laden mane, and RevCam says he needs Wilson's help.