Episode Report Card Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Father, Why Bother?
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.17.2004
Mac asks Ruthie what she wants on her pizza. She says she wants "everything," including anchovies. "You're my kinda woman," Mac says, making Ruthie respond with Mackenzie Rosman's best impression of "glee." She asks Mac about Pam, and Mac says she dumped him. Ruthie starts talking about the difficulties of finding someone new, and Martin starts making "what's going on?" faces behind his menu.
SamVid and Wilson are having a discussion. It's always good when SamVid can find someone on their intelligence level to talk to. Anyway, Wilson reveals what's been going on in his life since we saw him last: he works in the "business department" of Crawford Clown College, which pays him so much that he lives in his wife's mother's house. RevCam comes in with Charlie, and then leaves with SamVid to make some hot dogs. Charlie tells Wilson about how he's a teen father, and he thinks their baby should have a better mother and a better father. "There's [sic] lots of other couples out there waiting to adopt," he says. Wilson says that he and his wife are one of those couples, and Charlie gets all excited because he thinks RevCam brought Wilson over to adopt his unwanted baby. Wilson lets him down easy and says that he was a teen father, and the mother died during childbirth because she jumped in a time-travel machine and went back to colonial times to have her baby. But he managed to raise his son and take him to college with him and then he met a woman who also had a baby in high school and took it to college, and now they're married. Could Wilson's wife be…Cory Conway??? But we'll never find out. Also, if both Wilson and his wife are obviously capable of producing children, why do they want to adopt? Actually, why do they want children, biological or otherwise, when they don't even have enough money to live in their own place? That seems irresponsible. But irresponsibility is great, claims Wilson, who completely ignores Charlie's plan to put the baby up for adoption, instead saying that the baby needs him, and if Charlie needs a friend, Wilson can be that friend. That's one friend who's going to find a baby on his doorstep tomorrow morning.
Kevin and Lucy come in the backyard, where RevCam is grilling and SamVid are probably three seconds away from trying to eat the fire. Kevin and Lucy wonder where Ben is, and Lucy pulls her husband aside to talk about it. Kevin says that Lucy was the last person to see Ben, since he's assuming that Ben told Lucy to be nicer to her husband. Hee. Lucy says that no one told her to be nicer to Kevin; she actually did it on her own. Lucy tells Kevin not to make her "look bad" in front of her father. At the mention of his name, RevCam spins around and starts listening in on their conversation. Then Lucy says that her mother actually told her to be nicer to Kevin. "Because…" Kevin says, acting like the patriarchal prick he is. "Because you're my husband and the father of my baby," answers Lucy. And then they share a chaste kiss on the lips. RevCam leaves the grill unattended while his young sons play next to it to tell Lucy and Kevin about how Wilson's visiting. "That's not good," says Kevin. Lucy and RevCam makes confused expressions.