Episode Report Card Demian: B | 1 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Let's Play Master And Servant
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.14.2004
Speaking of whom: Back at the Manor, Piper's sleeping body glows and emits a white cloud of goo that congeals into Spectral Piper high above the parlor sofa. Spectral Piper is, of course, filmed from the waist up to disguise the fact that Holly Marie Combs is, by now, four hundred and sixteen weeks pregnant. Spectral Piper makes "The hell?" noises before calling for the Dolt to wake up. He doesn't, but he does shift a bit so his hand moves over her body's heart, where it proceeds to glow with the Whitelighter tingly touch. Spectral Piper promptly dissolves into the cloud of goo and rejoins her body.
As the Dolt unconsciously pulls Piper back from the brink, Spectral Raige and Spectral Feebs stop glowing and sink to the floor. They're still transparent, but, as Spectral Phoebe puts it, they're "not moving on." "Why aren't we moving on?" Raige wonders. "Who cares?" Chris breathes happily, glycerin still glistening in his eyes. "You're still here." "Got any unfinished business?" Raige asks the Feebs, before busting her chops for keeping Chris's secret from her. Chris tells them to can it, because they can now reverse the magic that got them all into this mess in the first place. Either SpRaige or SPhoebe can invade Saba's body, order Buttfuck free, and trap Saba in the garish bottle forever. SPhoebe wonders if they should check on Piper first. Chris duhs that if Piper were dead, he would have vanished, so SpRaige wonders how they're supposed to find the demon they're looking for. Chris reminds them both that, as ghosts, they "can haunt anybody [they] want." "Just concentrate," he instructs, "and it should wisp you right to her." SpRaige and SPhoebe think real hard for a second, then flare and disappear through the ceiling. Big Gay Chris orbs hastily after them.
Oh, hello, blissful special-effects sequence I need not recap! Out in the desert, Saba wishes for the restoration of the lost city of Zanbar. Buttfuck, hidden in the bottle, silently complies, and CGI'd minarets and palaces emerge from the dirt. "Finders, keepers!" Saba grins wickedly. From behind, sassy SpRaige calls out, "I wouldn't unpack just yet if I were you." Saba, Cholo, and a couple of henchnomads spin around to confront the three arrivals. SPhoebe snarls something and dives into Saba's chest. The force of SPhoebe's entry jostles Saba to the point where she drops the bottle of Buttfuck. Cholo charges with upraised scimitar, but Big Gay Chris telekinetically flips him into a wall. The henchnomads step up to take Cholo's place, but SPhoebe, who by now has assumed control of Saba's body, torches them both with Flaming Balls Of Death. Chris finishes off Cholo with a sword before rejoining SpRaige to watch as SPhinny, in Phoebe's voice, wishes Buttfuck free. SPhoebe emerges from Saba just as Buttfuck's white whirlwind engulfs her. "No!" Saba wails as she's sucked back into the bottle, only to be replaced by Buttfuck in his street clothes. That was…odd. Why would…wouldn't he have…she should be…oh, fuck it. We're almost done. Buttfuck immediately wishes the Charmed Ones alive again. Saba, from the bottle's depths, sneers, but acquiesces with the nod-and-blink schtick. SpRaige and SPhoebe morph into ectoplasmic goo and disappear. Chris steps over to Buttfuck's side and, indicating the off-screen Zanbar, asks if Buttfuck could get rid of it before Chris assumes control of the bottle. "No problem," Buttfuck assures him.
The camera pans over the digitally inserted desert city before fading into the Closing Travelogue, which is also, mercifully, sans Ovary. Eventually, we return to Castle Montanague, where Buttfuck claims to have sucked down a power-stripping potion of his own design. Raige breaks up with him anyway. Her excuse? It wouldn't be fair of her to continue as a Charmed One in his presence when he no longer has his powers. No, seriously. She butts into his family's affairs uninvited, proceeds to order him to deny who he is, demands he rid himself of his birthright as a witch, and then, when he finishes doing everything she'd asked, dumps him. If I gave a rat's ass about Buttfuck, I'd hate her right about now. As it is, he can fuck off to TNT to film another miniseries about smack addicts. Fare thee well, Slampiece Buttfuck. We hardly knew ye. Not that we ever really wanted to, but still. I'm just trying to be polite.