Episode Report Card Niki: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Mystery Dance
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.06.2000
As soon as the show starts, it's clear that we're going to get up close and personal with Judy because she's the one sitting there in black-and-white. She's perched casually on a stool saying, "I can't believe it. I mean I can believe it, it's just...unbelievable." Huh?
We have only a split second to ponder what the hell Judy means, because the camera cuts immediately to the interior of a noisy, crowded bar. It pans until it lands on Judy, who's sitting at a table and looking very bored with her chin propped on her palm. Some dorky guy brings her a drink. Shockingly, he appears to be her date. As he hands her the martini he asks, "Isn't this place great?" Judy responds with a little sarcasm: "I just wish it were louder and more crowded." Although really, I don't know why she's complaining. If this is the guy's idea of conversation, she should be grateful that it's too loud to talk. It's okay, though; Judy doesn't offend him with her sarcasm, mainly because the lame-o doesn't get it. So Judy explains, nice and slow, that she was just kidding. Although he seems familiar with the concept of humour, he can't seem to apply it to her particular remark. "Oh," he says, opening his mouth nice and wide to take a big gulp of beer. He either doesn't appreciate her humor or he still doesn't get it. Whatever the problem is, it's apparent that Judy is not having a good date.
Cut to Lily's bathroom, where she's busy scrubbing her tub. Who knew beautiful people could leave a ring? She's wearing drudge clothes -- sweatshirt and rubber gloves -- but don't you worry, she still manages to look good. Enter Judy with a hamper of towels to be put away. As she folds and stacks she's busy complaining: "I feel like I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel." No arguments here. "Maybe I'm not being picky enough." Now there's a gaping understatement. "Or maybe I'm being too picky." Um, no. And she goes on, wondering, "Am I wrong? Am I wrong to have some criteria?" Excuse me, but based on that last date, her criteria would be what, exactly? Anyway, Lily doesn't get a chance to get in a word, so we're not getting any answers there.
We next see Judy on another date, which appears to be nearing its end. Judy's outside her building with a guy in a very dapper (yeah, I said "dapper") overcoat, and we assume they've just come from the ballet because she says, "Nobody takes me to the ballet." At last, it seems Judy's found a man of taste and refinement. He's such a gentleman that he even asks if he can kiss her goodnight. But alas, he grabs her ass -- a full-on, double-fisted grope which is hard to miss since the camera zooms right in on it. Judy quite rightly leaves him standing dumbfounded on the sidewalk as she storms into her building.