Episode Report Card Gwen: F | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Horndoggedness Failing Us All
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.13.2001
Richard calls John's cell using a tiny microphone and earphone attached to his own cell. He's come up with a plan for Jane's case. With the use of the headphone and microphone, John will listen to the proceedings from afar and feed Richard his lines, "just like that show Cyrano de Burger King." Richard begs John for his help, saying that if he wins, he just might get sex. Then he turns around and sees Jane listening to his phone conversation. Without missing a beat, he asks her, "Am I right, Jane, or is that overstating it?" "You might," she confirms. Feedback and static cause Richard to tell John that he will call back during the case. Jane's wig makes her look like a washed-out monkey as she expresses the wish to be able to pay Richard for his services. He says that the naked pictures are enough. She goes on saying that she shouldn't be in L.A. where she's constantly on the edge of disrespectability. She should be learning about theater in Ohio or somewhere. Richard makes some polite reply and Jane is compelled to kiss him, complete with sucking of his upper lip. Richard does the "we really should go do something else now" après-kiss thing that always annoys me on TV. No, you really should make out now. Why wait? I mean, I know they have the motion coming up, but Richard should say, "Hey, that ruled. Let's come back here and make out hard-core as soon as the motion is over" instead of "we really should blah blah blah now" as if the kiss didn't happen. Ugh. That's so infuriating. Why do my favorite TV characters do that? Why don't they just get it on? WHEN DO I GET TO HAVE SEX, DAMMIT?
Whoa. Hey...sorry. Sorry about that. I'm just a little...I'm just a little overwrought, is all. Come on -- we really should get back to the recap now.
In her office, Ally calls her mom and makes a big, big, stinking deal that she's not calling because something's wrong. All the office gossips are poking their heads around the door. Don't they have plot lines of their own to work on? No, I guess they don't.
Helena goes to Larry's office, where Corretta informs her that he and Ally broke up. Corretta leaves at Larry's request, and then Helena tries to talk sense into her ex. Larry rants incoherently yet still amusingly about the fact that it's not Ally, it's him. Helena points out that he's unhappy since he and Ally have been apart. Where's Larry going to sleep tonight, I wonder? He moved in with Ally too soon. I mean, I know that building extra bedroom sets costs money, but come on.