Episode Report Card Gwen: F | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Horndoggedness Failing Us All
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.13.2001
Ally's mom tries to make her see reason while they sit at a table in some restaurant. She says that Ally only broke up with Larry yesterday and that they can still patch it up. The waiter comes up to take their order and Mommy McBeal tells him they aren't eating or drinking. When he looks askance at this, she says, "We're here for the ambience. Could you beat it, please?" I hope the waiter gets the manager to throw them out of the restaurant, but I'm pretty sure it won't happen because the writers of this show seem to have fetishes for rude women. Ally babbles on and on about craving baby carriages and reciting Gloria Steinem. Mommy McBeal doesn't blame her for wanting a family, because "family's everything." Whatever -- way to discount everyone in the universe who decides not to procreate. She hopes things work out with Larry and blah, blah, blah. The waiter walks up and passes on the manager warning that if the "ladies" aren't going to eat, they need to surrender the table. "I'll give you the table. Would you like something to start with? Perhaps the chair?" says Jill Clayburgh as the "this is supposed to be funny" music plays. Geez, why doesn't someone just kill these hags and put them out of everyone else's misery?
Richard packs his bags and Jane asks why he's such a tease. He thinks for a second, and then suggests that she move to Boston and work at Fish & Cage. That way she can support herself while taking acting classes. He doesn't ask her for sex or anything. Whatever. I couldn't care less if Jane moves to Boston and becomes a regular on the show. However, if she does, could she please also LOSE THE WIG? Or, at least, give her a big strawberry-blonde beehive one. If you're gonna be cheesy, be cheesy all the way.
Ally walks into the F&C lobby and the screen's all black and white. Elaine informs Ally that Larry called. Ally doesn't care. Then Elaine says that he just came by to see her. Ally's face brightens as the film turns back to color. Then Elaine shows Ally the note Larry left. The music is sad. Ally stares into space, her gaping lips swollen with collagen, for several thousand fractions of a second. Then she turns away. "Don't you want to open it?" Elaine asks. "No, I know what it says," Ally replies, walking away and closing her office door behind her. Nosy Elaine rips open the envelope. The note says, "I LOVE YOU. GOODBYE."
I have to admit that I was pretty affected by that. My eyes came pretty close to watering. Strangely, though, I think it had more to do with the handwriting than the actual situation. What kind of person writes such a harsh dumping note in all-caps?