Episode Report Card Jessica: B+ | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Castaways
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.11.2003
They find the pay phone in the employee lounge. Joey leans against the wall and rolls her eyes. "No, nobody's life is in danger," she says into the phone. "But please don't put me on hold!" No such luck. They put her back on hold. Joey sighs. Pacey thinks they ought to call 911, but Joey quite rightly points out that they're locked in a building fully stocked with food, water, and "the latest in home video equipment." It's hardly a proper emergency. Pacey sucks on his moustache. "We're in danger of getting you home late and we can't have that," he insists. "Since when do you care?" Joey asks snarkily. Pacey yelps that he certainly doesn't want her to be lax in her studies! "There's work to be done! Books to be read!" he says. Joey just glares at him. "Shut up, something's happening. It's ringing," she tells him, turning her attention back to the phone. She makes a frustrated sound, and hands the phone to Pacey, explaining that they transferred her to some automatic response thing. "See if you can figure it out," she says, and then asks if she can wear his coat, explaining that hers looks nice, but wasn't designed for warmth. ["…in Boston. In February. Sigh." -- Sars] Pacey hands the phone back to her while he wraps her in his overcoat, and then take the receiver back with a weary look.
Finally, Pacey gets hold of a real person and gives the authorities the scoop on their situation. Joey, perched on the break table in his coat, finds the condoms he stuffed into his pocket. "Please don't put me back on hold! God!" Pacey yells, frustrated, into the phone. "Are these yours?" Joey asks, sliding off the table and holding up the Trojans. "Those?" Pacey stutters. Joey nods and explains that she found them in his coat pocket. Pacey offhandedly confirms that they do, in fact, belong to him. "We're stuck in here because you had some pressing need for birth control?" Joey asks, her voice raising sharply at the end of that question. Pacey shrugs that that's the kind of responsible guy he is. But it doesn't look like he's going to need them, he says. Joey shrugs and tosses the condoms on the table angrily. She's about to say something when Pacey holds up a finger and listens to the police on the other end of the line. He nods and gives the cops the number there at the K-Mart, asking them not to forget to call back. He hangs up. "At least now we're making progress," he says. "It's that girl from the party, right?" Joey asks, with a critical look down at the condoms. Pacey points out that he was not there on a date with Joey; he's allowed to pick girls up. Joey squeals that she can't believe her evening has been ruined "for the sake of some booty call!"
Pacey strolls over to the fridge and pours himself an orange juice, and announces that they're "not actually having this conversation." Joey throws her hands up in the air. "Why not? Because you don't want to talk about sex with me?" she asks. "Why, do you want to talk about sex with me?" Pacey asks, sipping his juice. "Well, no, but I usually don't want to talk about sex with anyone," Joey admits. Pacey thanks her for "proving [his] point" and wonders if they can move on now. Joey won't turn her key, though, and demands to know why he can't talk about sex with her. "Well, one would think this might be obvious," Pacey begins, "but it might have something to do with how calm, cool, and not judgmental you are about the whole thing." Joey huffs, exasperated. "Okay, you know what? I don't approve. There! I said it. And I refuse to sit here and pretend like this is all just fine, because that's ridiculous!" she yelps. She's all worked up like this about The Blonde? Or is this about something…more? Pacey points at her. "Do you hear yourself? You can't help it! This is why we don't talk about sex. It is the secret to our entire friendship!" he yells. Joey sniffs that he's "lost her in his sea of pronouns." Pacey, talking very slowly, asks if they're friends, or what. She agrees that they are. And what is the secret to their friendship, he asks rhetorically? "We do not under any circumstances, talk about sex. I may be having it, you may be thinking about having it, but we don't discuss it. That way, we avoid the awkwardness, and, in avoiding the awkwardness, we are able to maintain the friendship. You see, it's a preventative measure. I stop the problem before it even starts," he explains. Joey walks right over to him and gets in his face, and whines that she doesn't understand why there should be any awkwardness between them to begin with. Pacey's all, because we used to have sex, dummy. Duh. "So, as far as you are concerned, I slept with you and then went in and got myself revirginized?" she asks. You can do that now? On second thought, why would you want to do that? "In my mind, yes," Pacey says, crossing the room to lean by the phone. "So I never slept with Eddie or Dawson?" Joey asks, barely getting the sentence out before Pacey yelps in agony and tells her that he really, really doesn't want to talk about this. That makes two of us, Pace. I'm still trying to forget the image of the Beek's unruly chest hair in the season premiere.