Episode Report Card Jessica: B+ | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Castaways
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.11.2003
After the ads, we open on Joey and Pacey speeding down the highway in his BMW. "What the hell is happening to my butt right now?" Joey wonders. Oh, if I had a dollar…never mind. Pacey explains the concept of a seat warmer, which he says is standard on your more high-end German vehicles. "My lower half thanks you for moving so far up the socio-economic ladder," Joey says. So. Many. Dirty. Jokes. Can't. Recap. Properly. She then half-turns in her seat and points out that they've just missed their exit. Pacey nods and tells her they have to make a "pit stop." Joey's eyes bug out, and she whines that she has got to get home and get out of "these ridiculous clothes." Moreover, she says, she has an entire book to read before Flip-Flops's class. "Okay, simmer down," Pacey says. "This is going to delay you, like, two minutes." Joey just rolls her eyes.
The BMW pulls into the parking lot of a Big K-Mart. Joey wonders what, exactly, Pacey could possibly need at the K-Mart. Maybe he needs some nice Martha Stewart café curtains, Joey. Who are you to judge? Pacey stutters and sputters and finally says that he really, really needs laundry detergent. He gets out of the car. Joey follows suit -- in a beautiful, new, long formal coat -- and snaps that she doesn't think he's ever done laundry, in all the years she's known him. He turns and looks at her. "You can wait in the car," he says. "You expect me to sit out here while you're traipsing about the world's largest superstore?" Joey yelps. "That's right," Pacey says. "Wrong!" Joey retorts, and explains that she needs to pee. Also, K-Mart has so many delightful and inexpensively priced wares, it would be torture for her to sit in the car when she could be perusing the latest Blue Light Special™!
After a rather lengthy trek though the parking lot, they get up to the doors. Which are locked. "It can't be closed. There are people inside," Pacey says. Joey looks over at a door near them, where a security guard is letting shoppers out to the parking lot. Said security guard is distracted by a couple of kids, rolling around the parking lot on top of shopping carts, and Pacey and Joey sneak inside the K-Mart while his back is turned.
Joey and Pacey walk through the K-Mart, eventually parting ways as she heads off to the bathroom. Pacey, on the other hand, heads toward the condom aisle. The music in this scene is brilliant, by the way -- it's totally the K-Mart style muzak that makes me want to take my own life. Pacey stands in front of the condoms and eyes the selection. A greasy, weaselly little K-Mart employee sidles up next to him. "Um. We're going to be closing soon?" he says. "Okay," Pacey responds. The employee doesn't leave, but just stands next to Pacey and gives him the old Hey, Someone's Getting Laid! eyebrow. Pacey reaches past him to pick up some Trojans. "Very nice," the Weasel says. Pacey just raises his brows.