Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Must Find Toes
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 09.17.2006
Debate. It seems to be a debate scrimmage or something, because he's up against Gretchen. The topic is "Electoral College vs. Popular Vote"; Shane is taking the "Popular Vote." His argument: "George W. Bush." This earns him a standing ovation; even the coach, who's moderating, joins in the applause. Gretchen, disgusted, says that's against the rules, and asks how she's supposed to argue after Shane's invoked the name of the worst president the nation's ever seen and failed to follow protocol. The coach -- rather out of character given his tearful recitation of the school's debate kings in the last episode -- basically tells Gretchen not to be such a stickler, but she forfeits, telling Shane that he sucks. The coach pats him reassuringly on the shoulder, perhaps pleased to have learned that he and Shane are political kindred spirits.
Silas pulls in at the house. I guess they drove the whole way back in silence because only now does Silas congratulate him on a good job at the debate. Shane sighs that it was a disaster. Silas disagrees, saying that Shane made Gretchen "totally lose her shit": "That's a win in my book." Shane says that now Gretchen hates him even more. Silas guesses that Shane likes Gretchen and asks whether she knows. Shane confesses that he's never even talked to her; he's only kicked her. They walk into the house, Silas telling Shane he's going to have to do something. Their dad did it, Silas did it, and Andy does it all the time; sometimes it even works. Shane has no idea what he's talking about, so Silas says he'll have to talk to her. Shane doesn't think much of this advice. Silas adds that most women are "evil, lying bitches," but that he's trying to be a good big brother, so when Gretchen kicks the crap out of Shane's heart, Silas will buy him a beer with his fake ID. Aw, that's why I always wanted a big brother!
Chez Hodes, Dean and Celia (looking very Joan of Arc without her wig) are in bed. She's grousing about the election, and how much people like Doug. Dean reminds Celia that she got elected president of the PTA, but Celia says that doesn't count, since she was like Hitler in Munich; her minions were just looking for someone to follow. Dean ponders his crossword puzzle. Celia tells him to give her a clue, but Dean says he likes to do it all by himself. Celia considers her options, and throws out, "Wanna have sex?" Dean: "'A sky-high accessory.'" "Orion's belt," says Celia. Dean says that's "totally right." "Yay for me," sighs Celia. I suggest that she take up Sudoku.
Then, it's Election Day. Celia gets her photo taken at the polling place, and then Nancy hurries in. Celia greets her, but Nancy waves her off, saying that she doesn't want to talk. Celia gets as close as Celia probably ever does to apologizing, saying that she hopes the "incident" (brutal hair-pulling) doesn't affect their friendship, but before Nancy can answer either way, Doug enters, jocularly greeting Nancy as his friend and client. With both candidates all up in her grill, Nancy stutters that she has to go review the bond issues again, and takes off. Once she's gone, Celia accusatorily tells Doug that Nancy's going to vote for him. Celia goes off to vote, and Doug cheerfully calls after her to vote for herself: "I'd hate to see you get shut out!" The photographers call Doug's name, and he obligingly grins and throws a couple of Nixon-y victory signs. Heh. Celia emerges from the booth with a smirk and drops her ballot in the box. Doug heads in to vote himself, just as Dean enters, wondering why Celia looks so pleased with herself. She tells him to wait...and sure enough, one second later, Doug bellows, "Why isn't my name on the ballot?" Dean asks what Celia did, but she says it's a miracle: "God loves me." Doug, starting to lose it a little, barges into his neighbour's booth to see if Doug's name's on that ballot, and gets scolded by the supervisor. Doug barks that his name isn't on the ballot. Celia asks which name he means: "Doug Wilson, or Mr. Fuck Hughson?" Doug advances on her, saying that she did this to him, but Celia smugly says she wishes she could take credit for it. But Dean, looking like he suspects what happened, says he's sure there's a reasonable explanation. Doug's is that Celia is "a cheating whore." He grabs a cup of pencils and starts ordering voters to write him in. Celia calls over the supervisor, who tells Doug he can't campaign within three hundred feet of a polling place. Doug says that he isn't a candidate, given that his name's not on the ballot, calling the guy an asswipe besides. This gets him ejected by Security, leaving Celia smiling beatifically.