Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Must Find Toes
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 09.17.2006
Doug counts off three hundred paces and stands on a decorative rock with a bullhorn, trying to drum up write-in votes by saying that change just brings problems, and reminding voters that they hate Celia Hodes: "Celia Hodes has chlamydia!" Hey. It's Cancer Tits.
Nancy rolls into her kitchen, brandishing a sheaf of job applications for Silas. She's trying to make a point about his limited options if if he doesn't go to college, but he rolls her eyes and generally acts like your typical shiftless young person who's never had to develop any work ethic because his parents were rich enough to let him get away with it. Shane enters with a form for Nancy to sign, indicating that she knows he's quitting the debate team. Silas calls him a pussy, telling him just to go talk to her. He leaves for school, promising Nancy that they'll talk later, and Nancy asks whom Silas wants Shane to speak to. Shane catches Nancy up about Gretchen, saying that instead of talking to her, he's just going to avoid her for the rest of the year. He tries to leave, but Nancy stops him, telling him to be brave: "I hated your father when I first met him. He slept on a futon. He had a goatee. He hit on my roommate. But over time, I got to know him and we fell in love." She realizes that Shane and Gretchen might not even like each other, but that Shane has to try. "Why do you always have to bring up Dad?" asks Shane. Yeah, that was the point of the story. Stupid kid.
Yael comes to visit Andy, who's awake in bed. She asks how she can make him feel better, and he suggests letting him "pitch instead of catch." Yael pretends to consider it.
At Celia's, where the candidate is waiting for the phone call that will confirm her victory, Pam eats a cookie or something, and Celia wishes she had less irritating friends. Presently, the call comes. Celia hangs up and hisses that it came down to "three lousy votes" -- and with Doug not even on the ballot! Wow, people do hate Celia. Pam comforts that she'll win next time, but Celia sighs that there isn't going to be a next time...because she won. Pam loses her shit. The phone rings again.
It's Doug, calling from his non-victory non-party. He says that he'll keep his concession speech short: "Fuck you." Celia smugs that Dean must be Doug's speechwriter, but Doug says that he came up with that on his own -- he even memorized it, and offers to recite it again: "Fuck you!" He hangs up. Celia spreads her hands, and tries to celebrate even though she's surrounded by all her PTA simps.