Episode Report Card Daniel: B | 4 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT No Man Is an Island
By Daniel | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2006.10.25
Suddenly, lightning strikes the five-iron tower, and the wire carries the current harmlessly to Desmond's grounding stick, which catches fire. Claire's freaked out for all of about half a second. Charlie, though, looks at Desmond's freaky smile and thinks for a moment, possibly about whether he and Claire are ever going to be more than just friends. So I guess this is more of the "is Desmond psychic?" nonsense that is going to pay off soon, I'm sure, like the monster, and bird that called Hurley's name, and the four-toed statue, and everything else. Maybe we could just investigate why the lightning struck the golf-club tower when there are so many taller trees all over the place?
It's dark in the bear cages, but the birds are chirping. Sawyer wakes up, startled to see Ben there in his cage with him. "Good morning," says Ben. "Let's go for a walk." I suppose a morning jog's out of the question.
Flashback to Sawyer taking another walk, this one with an escort of prison guards to the prison gym, where the warden stands waiting outside the boxing ring. "I have to be honest, Ford. When they first brought you here, I thought you were nothing more than a dumb hick. Now I know better." He does? "You're a dumb hick that knows how to steal." Oh, okay. I'll accept that. Sawyer wants to get this over with, whatever this is. The warden acknowledges one of the men with him. "You remember Agent Friedmann from the treasury department," he says. Friedmann nods. He looks like he'd make a good rookie officer in a buddy-cop movie, the kind who's by-the-book but gets paired up with the loose cannon veteran. And each thinks the other's methods stink but by the end they're working together and respecting each other? Look at me, I just wrote a movie. I bet Samuel L. Jackson's available for the lead.
Friedmann asks what Sawyer's got for him. "The ten million's in a red Bronco parked in a Store-Quick facility in Sawgrass. Right off 441. Unit 23C. That's where your money is." Sawyer at least has the good grace to look at least a little chagrined about ratting on a fellow prisoner. The warden says, "As agreed, the last six years of your sentence have been commuted." Friedmann says that as soon as they've recovered the money, Sawyer'll get his commission. "Now, how do you want that?" and I hoped Sawyer was going to say "ones and twos," but instead he says he wants it in a new bank account in Albuquerque. Oh, right. His heart of gold. He says he wants it in the name of Clementine Phillips. I'm having a hard time deciding if Sawyer's hesitation is due to him just now getting the idea to do this, or if because it's hard to give up the money -- remember, he was already working on the Costanza con before he found out about Clementine. What I do know is that before Sawyer gives up however much money his commission is -- well, it's called a paternity test, Mr. Most Trusting Con Man Ever. "And I want it so there's no way she can ever find out who the money's from," he adds. The warden asks who Clementine Phillips is. "We done?" is all Sawyer says, so the warden, who has not changed expression once during this episode, says, "Congratulations, Ford. You just lied and cheated your way out of prison. You're a free man." Sawyer looks around, as if unsure what to do next. I'm guessing, though, that it'll involve a hooker and an eight-ball.