Episode Report Card Heathen: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Longer You Stay
By Heathen | Season 8 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.03.2001
Luka has followed Abby onto the El Train, which is slowing to a halt at her stop. "I was trying to have fun, is that a crime?" Luka asks, desperately. "No, go have fun," Abby fumes. "I can be left waiting out in the street by myself, [and] I can walk home by myself." They're booking it down the platform now, Luka still chasing behind his prickly girlfriend. "Why do you have to make a big problem out of everything, like you have an insect in your anus?" Luka sputters. Abby is in no mood for cute slang slip-ups. "'Bug up my ass,' Luka," she corrects, haughtily. "Bug up my ass. If you're gonna insult me, you can at least get the words right." Offended, Luka spits, "Fine. How's this: stop being such a bitch." Ooooh! Fifteen-love. "Okay, fine, as soon as you grow up!" Aaaaah! A tied score. "Right, you're so mature, Abby!" yells Luka. "You don't even know what you want!" Abby obtusely sneers that she does, indeed, know what she wants, and that is to go home. "You play games like the schoolgirl who can have any boy and treats all of them like crap!" Luka volleys. Abby spins and smashes back, "Why don't you just call me a whore and get it over with!" One point to her. "I'm tired of it," Luka says. "You're not that pretty. You're not that special." Wow. He comes back with an ace. That is incredibly cold, and although Abby's irritating immaturity to this point has riled me, I'm ashamed of Luka for stooping to her playground pettiness. Except, on another level, daaaaaaamn! Abby whirls around and stares at him in disbelief, then smiles coldly and spits, "I'm pretty enough in the dark, though, aren't I?" Tied game. I wonder if it was hard for Maura Tierney to be in this scene, in which her looks come under fire. Certainly the words came out of Luka's anger, but a writer had to craft a phrase that has basis in reality, and that's what he or she decided to type. And it's believable. Ouch. "You're never happy," Luka complains. "I don't think you're capable of being happy." She scoffs, but he forges ahead and insists that when she isn't depressed or ashamed, she's just angry. "And you're married to a ghost!" shouts Abby, spinning around again and silently daring Luka to keep chasing her after that sliver of cold truth. He pauses. "At least I treat you with respect," he says quietly. Abby has already recommenced speed-walking. "Oh, I know, you're a saint, Luka," she tosses over her shoulder. I have to give her the edge in this one, even though they're both right in a lot of ways. I still don't think Luka needed to match her bad mood and malice, and I feel for Abby because he childishly tried to scotch their dinner plans and then ignored her at the bar. But they do both make valid points, although I'm not sure I buy Luka's infatuation with his dead wife, given his profound feelings for Carol Hathaway.
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