Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Destroy Everything You Touch Today
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 20 | Aired on 03.07.2011
Spencer: "That would be ballsy awesome if I weren't terrified, but I am, so it seems kind of insincere."
Toby: "I just love how when I asked if you had coffee made, you were like I always have coffee made. I am Spencer Hastings."
Spencer: "Okay, you gave Alison the sweater and then she got in a car with a guy."
Toby: "Yeah, but that's all I know."
Spencer: "It was Ian's car, given the Kissing Rock video."
Toby: "Your brother-in-law? Intriguing turn."
Spencer: "Old news. Frankly, it's ludicrous that you didn't already know this, considering how it's all I ever fucking talk about."
Spencer: "Anyway, because I keep accusing him of murdering people all the time, the cops won't listen anymore."
Toby: "Fuck the po-po. If you don't lie to the cops you're not American."
Spencer: "But I don't lie, and I like the cops. Also, I'm being framed in eleven other ways. Frankly, you shouldn't even be here."
Toby: "Yeah, it could really wreck my reputation as the murdering sister-fucking Boo Radley of Rosewood."
Spencer: "Good point. Let's sit on the couch for the rest of our lives."
Paige is stapling things to the wall about whatever when Emily comes up; she paints on the scariest Oh hi there fellow swimteam member! face in case you were thinking she had gone suddenly uncrazy; also, the intense hairdon't is pretty much back where it started. Much like the clothes of Spencer and Aria, Paige's hair in every scene is a good indicator of how loony she is about to act.
Emily: "Hello, friend. So I saw you talking to Sean."
Paige: "Is that weird? Because of Hanna Banana?"
Emily: "No! Why does everybody think that? She doesn't give a shit about Sean. She crashed his car for not fucking her, and he was like Bygones. She totally screwed him over at that awesome dance, and I was angrier about it than he was. Sean is not a factor."
Paige: "Then what on earth could you be thinking of? Why is it weird?"
Emily: "YOU ARE A LESBIAN."
Paige: "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Emily: "Pssh, okay. Anyway, since we're not dating, I'm cool with letting you do whatever you want."
Paige: "Okay. We're already going on a date."
Emily: "Balls."
Spoilers Based On Jacob's Personal Experiences
1. Paige and Sean eventually move in together; Paige keeps showing up at Emily's house anyway.
2. Paige gets Sean pregnant, heavy drinking commences.
3. Massive Facebook Defriending Massacre.
4. Emily goes on two-week bender, screwing everything that isn't nailed down; rest of group walks on eggshells around her, eventually gets the horns anyway.
5. GOTO Step 1 with some other person that is pretty much exactly Paige in another form.