Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | 3 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Brainwashing The Brainless
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.29.2004
Veronica arrives home to find Keith with a nasty-looking cut under his eye. Keith blows off her concern by saying he collided with someone at home plate. That's an excuse that many of the forum posters found flimsy, and I have to agree. The people in this town wouldn't cross the street to spit on Keith. Okay, actually, they would, but that's a far cry from welcoming him into a softball league, even if the chewing tobacco makes for a far more satisfying spitting experience. Speaking of which, Keith is sort of hopped up in this scene, but whether it's on nicotine or excitement is for you to decide. He makes Veronica cover her eyes, and leads her into her bedroom and tosses her onto...a waterbed. Um, I really don't think anyone who hasn't completely taken leave of his or her senses could call me a prude, but a father getting this jacked about buying a bed for his sexually-active-age daughter, particularly a waterbed? Wing's awkward isn't quite right here. Instead, I have to turn to a Sars instant classic: Un! Comfortable! Anyway, Veronica's a bit bemused, because although she did want a waterbed when she was young, she "also wanted to marry Vanilla Ice and build the world's largest collection of Z-Bots." DJ with the six, Veronica with the nine. Oh, I'm really, really sorry. That waterbed is just fucking me up here. Veronica notices that Keith must have gotten the thing at a yard sale, since he forgot to remove the $10 masking-tape price tag. Damn, I'd be pretty wary of bouncing that hard on a ten-dollar waterbed. Perhaps Keith is counting on Veronica to have the same reservations. Veronica thanks Keith, and says she's glad he didn't "blow [his] wad" on a whim gift. And again, "blow your wad" has a perfectly legitimate meaning and is used completely properly here, but still, mentioning it in the same sentence with your dad? Un! Comfortable! Anyway, Veronica pulls Keith into an embrace, and meaningfully tells him she loves him. Keith briefly wonders what secret Veronica might have figured out now but, having so many to choose from, decides not to bother thinking about it. They bid each other good night, and Veronica flops down on her new bed. I hope the Foley guys were a little overzealous there, because otherwise, that thing's too noisy to do anything on except take shallow breaths. Which, again, may be part of Keith's master plan.
Mars Investigations. Keith's sitting in his office with a man and woman. They're telling him how their son was perfectly well-adjusted and popular, got good grades, and wasn't into drugs. However, it seems that dear "Casey" up and joined a cult. Keith ventures that Casey's profile is actually fairly typical of kids who join cults, leading the father to respond, "I know what you're thinking. Spoiled rich boy, raised in the soulless lap of luxury. No material whim denied, no spiritual need met." Uh...was that a denial? I was thinking that the most likely profession for the father was "lawyer," but if that's any indication of his rebuttal skills, they certainly wouldn't be living in the 09 area. The mother says that, six weeks ago, Casey went to school, but never came home. He's living at the "Moon Calf Collective," and even sold his Porsche and gave the money to the cult. Well, selling the Porsche might not be an indication of a fundamental shift in core values. It could simply be the acquisition of something called "good taste." The father starts to say what he wants Keith to do, for which they'll pay handsomely...