Episode Report Card Sars: C- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Future Shock
By Sars | Season 6 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.13.2003
Anyway, Doug says he does think people care whom he sleeps with. Jack gets even more hostile, spitting, "Why do you care what anybody thinks, anyway? I mean, your family knows; they have no problem with it. Pacey knows; he couldn't be happier." Doug: "That's because Pacey gets the last laugh." Jack, in the snidest, most contemptuous tone imaginable: "No, it's because Pacey loves you, and so do I." Yeah, that's convincing, Snappy Gilmore. In fact, I'll bet he'd believe it even more if you added, "and so do I, BITCH." The last word's already implied anyway. Jack continues complaining that it "really sucks" to have to keep spending weekends away from their backwater burg with his hot boyfriend -- yeah, that's fucking rough. Jack winds it up by complaining that it's like they're having an illicit affair, and Doug's face gets hard so he can verbally punch Jack back: "Not all of us were fags at fifteen, Jack. It's not so easy for some of us." As soon as he's said it, Doug recoils like he regrets it. Kerr Smith aims for "stunned," but lands somewhere closer to "told the deli is all out of egg salad, and would he like tuna instead." Jack shakes his head all, "Uh uh, not cool," and breathes that he can't believe Doug just said that. Doug apologizes quietly, and Jack says Doug's not sorry: "You know what the difference is between you and me, Doug? You were a fag at fifteen. You just haven't stopped hating yourself for it." Doug tries to cry. I'm going to assume that line was written by this Maggie Friedman and aimed at Kevin Williamson, because damn. I've heard of self-hating gay men, but he makes Tom Cruise look like the grand marshal of the Pride parade. Not that Tom Cruise is gay, because he totally isn't. In fact, I didn't even mention Tom Cruise in this paragraph. That's a typo. It's supposed to say "Rip Taylor."
On to the wedding everyone has supposedly gathered to attend. Gale and some extra...oh, I guess that's her new husband. ["Who looks like he was cloned from her DNA. The hell? -- Sars] Anyway, they cut the absolutely gorgeous wedding cake. Mmmmm, cake. Everyone claps. Including me. Because that cake is hot. Gale kisses Mr. Extra. Dawson hugs Gale and says he's happy for her, "And Dad would be, too." Um. Well. You say he "would" be, meaning that he would if he were alive. And were he alive, he probably wouldn't be "proud" that his wife was marrying some other dude. So it's a very strange thing to say. But whatever.
Capeside's finest jazz combo -- I assume -- plays some smooth tunes, and guests dance. It's like two in the afternoon, by the way. Pacey, glass of red wine in hand, strolls through the party with huge Ray-Ban sunglasses on. Virginia Madsen -- packed into a really ugly celery-coloured sleeveless top that's at least one size too small for her -- shoots a look at him over her shoulder and makes this "let's hook up later and fuck" motion at him; the camera closes in so that we can see her tattoo, but it still really just looks like a polio-vaccination scar. Pacey doesn't react, and walks on.