Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Gassing The Gap
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 02.12.2006
CTU is still trying vainly to contact Kiefer as he heads out into the other room, gun leveled, and spots the gas pouring out of the canister. He goes over and yanks loose some wires, which starts the canister closing again. Hey, it's the bad sci-fi theory of door panels! You know, those computerized door controls in cheesy space operas that the good guys blast with their laser guns, and it either shuts an open door, locks a shut door, shuts it and locks it, locks it open, or opens it, depending on what they want it to do? Same thing here. The important thing is that Kiefer's stopped more gas from escaping. Now that that's taken care of, he's able to take the time to answer McGill, who's been squawking into his earpiece this whole time. He reports that he's stopped the gas, although some has already escaped, and that so has one terrorist. Kiefer says they need to evacuate the mall immediately. No time for recriminations now; Buchanan orders Curtis to move in. "About time," Curtis takes the time to bitch before relaying the order to his men.
Kiefer's trying to find his way out of the mall's back offices when a guy in a suit comes in, probably wondering why the mall's one guard has been incommunicado for the past fifteen minutes. Kiefer pushes him against the wall and barks through his mask, "I'm a federal agent. Terrorists have released a toxic substance into the ventilation system. You need to evacuate people now." The guy's just gobsmacked, so Kiefer sticks Henchman #2's gun in the guy's face and yells, "Do it now!" Yeah, that's really going to help him think. The guy grabs his walkie-talkie and does it. Too bad Kiefer didn't have access to one of those. Kiefer lowers his gun and asks where the power controls for the ventilation system are, and the guy directs him to a control room door right next to the food court. ["Too many gas jokes! Paralyzed!" -- Sars] "Get everybody out now!" Kiefer reiterates, and takes off.
It's 2:45:42 as crowds and crowds of bipedal sheep listen motionlessly to the evacuation notices emanating from the PA system. But when Kiefer pops out into the mall's public area, that gets them moving. It's amazing how much more effective a guy running around with a gun and a gas mask can be than a simple verbal announcement. Kiefer earpieces to Curtis that Henchman #1 is still missing, and tells Curtis to be sure and take him alive. Now that Kiefer's already shot at him, of course. Kiefer vaults up the escalator to the food court, stampeding all before him. Except the people who are already on the ground, choking. They're not so much "stampeding" as "crawling and dying." Kiefer finds his way to the ventilation system control room and doesn't even bother trying the lock before shooting it off. He quickly finds four giant switches, all of which he throws to the "off" position before heading back out to the food court to assess the collateral damage. He reports to Curtis that the gas has stayed in the food court. "I have at least eleven people down. I need assistance, I need assistance now." There's one little girl collapsed against a pillar. Kiefer crouches down, puts his mask on her head, and schleps her right on out of there. Which sounds heroic and all, but if he's overcome by the gas and falls while carrying her, she's going to end up with catastrophic multiple organ failure and a busted collarbone. As for the other ten-plus victims, I'm sure Kiefer would be personally hauling them out too if he didn't have a cracked rib.