Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Nuclear Winner
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.08.2007
Kiefer goes all splitscreen as he winces in pain from wounds that will certainly be healed by the beginning of next hour, just as the light from a CTU chopper shines through the skylight overhead. In other windows, the CTU office people look stressed out, and Wayne limps around the White House Bunker with Tom prepared to catch him again if need be. Or, since Wayne is about twice Tom's size, it might be more accurate to state that Tom is prepared to watch Wayne fall past him again if need be.
At 10:58:32, Doyle arrives at the warehouse with his weapon drawn and a whole CTU team in tow, which is kind of a waste, since Kiefer didn't leave anyone for them to kill. Seeing that Kiefer's the only one still alive, Doyle holsters his weapon and goes to Kiefer to ask if he's all right. "Yeah," Kiefer pants. Wait for it -- "I'm fine." He asks how Doyle found him, because if he'd known that backup was two minutes away, maybe he wouldn't have taken on Fayed's army single-handed. Oh, who am I kidding? And besides, it's not like a whole CTU team had a great deal of success in Valencia around 10 this morning. Doyle explains that they tracked the sanitation truck by satellite. "The bombs are on the table," Kiefer tells him, and then Doyle gets to be the one to call in to CTU: "The bombs are secure. And Jack's all right. Repeat, the bombs are secure." Everyone back at CTU smiles, because now they can finally go home. Yay! Good season, everyone! Doyle looks around at the bodies littering the scene like the end of a Jacobean revenge tragedy performed by Arabs, and at the particularly macabre spectacle of Fayed's twisted corpse dangling from the ceiling. "Damn, Jack," he breathes. No shit. He helps Kiefer to his feet. Kiefer wants to walk on his own, which is fine with Doyle, since he's getting a call on his cell phone anyway. Kiefer goes and picks up his empty gun from where he dropped it on the floor, like it's the only friend he's got left. And also like it's not about the fifteenth gun he's had today. After he pops the slide and holsters the empty weapon, Doyle says the phone's for him. Nukes secured? Terrorists dead? Threat neutralized? And now a mysterious cell phone call? This absolutely cannot possibly be good.
Kiefer says "hello" a couple of times before a familiar voice says, "Jack? Are you there? Can you hear me?" Kiefer freezes in his tracks, recognizing Audrey's voice. See? Not good. We see Audrey huddled in some dark building, looking like death warmed over as she asks Kiefer to help her. Kiefer asks what's going on, but Audrey has already flinchingly handed the phone back to Kiefer's old friend, the Chinese Consulate Cop. Which I guess I should stop calling him, since after the Consul got killed, he pretty much made Kiefer his full-time job. And now we see that he still hasn't resigned. Some people just hate updating their résumés. The Consulate Cop -- Cheng -- cheerfully tells Kiefer, "Yes, Ms. Raines is alive. If you wish her to remain that way, you will call me back in ten minutes at the 24 fan phone line." Except he gives the actual number. Damn, they're giving those ten digits a workout this season. "If you make any attempt to find our location," Cheng adds, "she dies." He snaps the phone shut. Kiefer barks Cheng's name into the phone a couple of times, but Cheng is gone. It's 11:00:00, and we have seven hours left in the season for him to find and save Audrey. Assuming that's what happens, of course.