Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Nuclear Winner
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.08.2007
Kiefer finds himself in some kind of large utility space with pipes and shit everywhere, making for a very suspenseful lack of sightlines as he searches for Fayed. At 10:45:36, Kiefer follows a noise and stays hidden as he sees Fayed stealing a cell phone off the body of a sanitation worker he presumably just took down. Fayed dials the phone and says into it, "It's me. I'm on my way to you now." He climbs into the sanitation worker's garbage truck and starts it up. Still staying out of sight, Kiefer hurriedly creeps up behind the truck. With a grinding of gears, Fayed is on his way -- with Kiefer hanging from the undercarriage, hoping for no speed bumps along the way and wishing Fayed could have instead stolen a truck with a rear deck. As Fayed heads down the road, the camera zooms in to show us that that's really Kiefer under there, illuminated by the nifty ground-effect lighting that of course all city sanitation trucks boast. And then it gets unintentionally hilarious as Kiefer screams into his earpiece at top volume, "BILL, IT'S JACK! DO YOU COPY!!??!" Of course Buchanan copies nothing, because the truck's driveshaft is whirling madly just inches from Kiefer's face. He is so glad he shaved earlier. "DAMMIT!!!" he bellows. Buchanan assigns Morris to analyzing the call, and Chloe to replaying the satellite footage.
Meanwhile, Doyle has either left Jamal to die or is satisfied that he's already dead, because he's followed Kiefer and found Fayed's sanitation-worker victim. He reports back, "I don't have a twenty on Jack, but I do have a dead body at the loading dock." Kiefer continues stowing away at 10:47:24. I spend the commercials reflecting on that episode of CSI about the prison bus with the really gory underside.
10:51:42. In the White House Bunker's Lounge, Dr. Welton is checking the blood pressure of a semi-conscious Wayne. In some kind of misguided solidarity with his jacketless boss, Tom is also in shirtsleeves as he asks the doctor what's wrong with Wayne. The doc has no good news, and yells at Wayne that they're going to Medical. Despite a blood pressure of 80 over 40, Wayne is able to haul himself into a sitting position and refuse to go anywhere. He asks for another adrenalin shot instead. Dr. Welton refuses, saying he shouldn't have even given Wayne the last one. Wayne buttons his collar and says he's going back to work, as Tom and the doctor both beg him to listen. The doctor says that Wayne won't last until the nukes are secured. "I might surprise you," Wayne says as he pulls himself to his feet by grabbing Welton's jacket lapels. So he can totally keep being president, as long as there's always someone standing within towing range every time he wants to stand up. The doctor is ready to resign if Wayne won't go to Medical, but Wayne blows him off, and even Tom won't agree to lean on him any further. As both men put on their suit jackets, Wayne sends Tom to go call CTU for an update. Wayne could maybe make this easier on himself if he holed up in a room that had a phone. Wait, there was a phone in here earlier. Did the Mideastian ambassador use it up or something?