Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Father, Faker
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.07.2009
Jack's office. He welcomes Lenny P.I. in to discuss the search for his biological father. Instead, they talk about how near-suicidally depressed Lenny P.I. has been since his wife left him. Then Lenny P.I. hands him an envelope with his father's name and contact information. Jack looks at the envelope and gasps, "Oh God!"
Downstairs, Lemon and Pete compare notes on Donald Jordan. They agree that he is way too old to be Tracy's son. Toofer enters, and they have a supremely intellectual conversation about interracial age-telling. Conclusion: Either Tracy is 70 years old, or he is getting scammed.
Jack calls Lemon aside to go over the contents of the packet Lenny gave him. There are actually three names in the packet, because they need DNA to prove the rest. Lemon nearly wets herself with excitement as Jack's paternity hunt has now officially taken on the plotline of international film song-sation Mamma Mia. He chagrins how complicated family can be, but she can't hear him because she's busy planning ways to lure the three men to a Greek isle for singing on docks and such. There is a song-ending cannonball in our future, I fear. Jack thinks this is all too rich for his blood, but Lemon suggests that he bring the men to New York under the pretense that they won a contest. He reluctantly agrees.
Tracy's dressing room. Lemon and Pete visit to probe Tracy for his real age. He is 39 on paper, but is he 39 for real? They perform a surprisingly proficient, utterly white duet to that 1988 gem "It Takes Two" in service of the theory that everyone their age knows that song. They throw it to Tracy Don't Forget The Lyrics!-style when suddenly Kenneth appears and answers their hip-hop call. DJ Swine Flu has entered the hizzy, y'all. Tracy says he's not familiar with that song and then starts singing a ditty from, like, 1932. In her frustration, Lemon blurts out, "How old are you?!" Tracy confirms that he's 39. She asks how old he thinks Donald is. Donald appears to answer that he's a spry 21-year-old, just like the jacked-up birth certificate he printed out at Kinko's says. Donald asks for more money, this time to open a karate dojo. It's all very vague. Tracy entertains them with another song, this time sounding like it's from the times of King Arthur. Kenneth knows this one, too. After singing his faire song, Kenneth tells Lemon that the "contest winners have arrived." She is amped to meet her "three dads."