Episode Report Card Keckler: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Bloody, Murder-Colored Mem'ries
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 04.13.2000
We harken back to Aeryn's memories. Liiiike the muzzle of her guuuuun, bloody MURder-COLored MEM'ries! To complement that black and bad-ass PK uniform, Aeryn's sporting that unfortunate, skinned-back hair that makes me think she suddenly solved a problem like Maria. In his red and bad-ass PK uniform, Velorek saunters up to Aeryn and comments that he knows she was wishing she was back flying Prowlers. Aeryn doesn't say anything, so Velorek adds, "You're a very fine pilot. I'm glad you were reassigned to fly my transport." Aeryn nods and appears to smile. They walk off together. Velorek marvels that they were aboard for twenty-two solar days and not once did she ask what the cargo was. Aeryn gently retorts that while she does what she's ordered, she doesn't have to be interested in it. They do enough verbal flirting to get the sexual tension point across before being distracted by muffled screaming. Velorek goes over to a large shape and rips the gauzy, black shrouding veil apart. It's Pilot (our Pilot) and he's bound and gagged. "The replacement pilot," Velorek notes. Pilot's basketball eyes bug in fear.
Back in the present. Crichton confirms that Aeryn saw their pilot being brought aboard. Aeryn says that Pilot was her cargo on the transport, but had she actually known it was Moya and their Pilot, she would have said something long before now. D'Argo can't tell if she's lying or not. Zhaan notes sourly that what's done is done and they can't do anything about it now. Then, she excuses herself as she'd rather spend the next few hours alone in her favorite yoga posture: Downward Bitch. Good riddance! People, normally, I'm a pretty steady Zhaanophile (well, at least when Stark's not around), but she's SUCH a hypocrite in this episode, and I rather despise her for acting like a holier-than-thou priest who has her own closet full of molested boys to hide. Plus, she cums in sunlight, which means the two of us can never go to Hawaii without me feeling awkward the entire trip. The first day would be fine, because with those spicy leis and umbrellad drinks, we'd both be breathing pretty hard, but by the time we went snorkeling in Hanauma Bay, her issues would get a bit old. And gross. Add to that the fact that I'd lose her every time we'd step one toe in the ocean and yeah, Zhaan and Hawaii just don't mix.
Chiana doofs that she didn't know you could have more than one pilot for a single Leviathan. Aeryn says that replacing a pilot is a long, difficult, dangerous procedure. Chiana decides she's going to go check on Zhaan. "So, they guy on the tape," Crichton begins. Yes! I was wondering when His Jealousiness was going to get to that! Instead he asks if that was Velorek's job, to replace the pilots. Aeryn confirms that it was Velorek's job to make sure Their Pilot bonded to Moya any way he could. Maybe Fixodent would have been a good option here?