Episode Report Card Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Vulcan's Tale
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.24.2002
Scenes of a dusty old town with old cars, filmed in Almost But Not Quite Sepia Tones Of Bygone Days. A carved wooden sign says, "Carbon Creek. Population 669." T'Nana and Mestral crouch in a gully and watch the humans. "How do you suggest we proceed?" T'Nana asks. She's the captain; shouldn't she suggest? Mestral tells her they need to get some different threads so their ensembles don't scream "aliens wearing next generation's p'leathers!" They find a convenient wash line, and T'Nana undresses behind a conveniently hanging sheet in order to show her conveniently naked silhouette. I know this is supposed to be tit-illating, but all I can think of is Garth doing that impersonation of the silhouette man in Madonna's "Justify My Love" video. If you look really closely, you can see her scars through the sheet. Guess they didn't find a convenient M'denform on that clothesline. For that matter, I guess Vulcans don't find undergarments to be logical, because it should not have been an issue for her to wear a Vulcan W'nderbra under the Earth clothes -- no one would have seen it. T'Nana lectures Mestral that they are only there to procure food; they will keep contact with humans to "an absolute minimum." Mestral pulls a knit hat over his ears as T'Nana instructs him that, when necessary, she will do all the talking to the humans. T'Nana walks around the sheet, now fully clothed in a plaid dress, which is on the wrong way around. Mestral makes a face. "What is it?" T'Nana asks. "I believe you have that garment on...backwards," Mestral tells her. That will be the first of many times that Mestral "knows better" than his commanding officer. T'Nana looks down and then turns around -- showing a little back with no bra fastener -- to walk back to her dressing room for an adjustment. Can I get a judge's ruling on this? Her Vulcan p'leather uniform consisted of a jacket and pants that both zipped up the front, and she couldn't figure out that a dress buttoned up the front? Bermaga really are out to take the V'ENSA cards away from every last Vulcan.
Mestral and T'Nana walk through the town. It appears that someone felt the need to hang out some pumps to dry on that Convenient Clothesline, because T'Nana's wearing them. Mestral is attracted by something, and walks over to catch a radio sportscaster calling a baseball game where a player named Thomson gets tagged out at home plate, much to the listeners' chagrin. Assuming that it's Bobby Thomson of the NY Giants, I'd have thought the listeners would be happy about the out. I mean, wouldn't it be a Giants-Pirates game they're tuned to? ["And why would they pick Thomson to illustrate the baseball of the fifties? Sure, Thomson's famous -- for a single home run, which he didn't even hit against the Pirates. Shouldn't they have used Ralph Kiner, a Hall of Famer of that era who actually played in Pittsburgh? Twelve seconds on Google and they could have made that sequence a lot more believable." -- Sars] "Some type of combat, no doubt," T'Nana comments. "I believe it may be an entertainment," Mestral corrects her. Again. They decide that as there's not much action on the street, they'll duck into the local pub for a swift half. T'Nana reminds Mestral to keep his yap buttoned. A country song whines on the jukebox as some local yokels stop playing pool pointedly enough to take notice of the newcomers' entrance. Ruh-roh!