Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Everything's Coming Up Kenneth
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.23.2010
After tucking Carol in, Lemon calls Jack at his apartment to discuss his emotional breakdown. Jack welcomes her to adulthood and gloats that his Fabian Strategy is working a charm with Avery. He, too, has tucked his demanding significant other into bed and is celebrating his momentary victory with a tipple of Scotch and a game of Snood. Lemon vengefully sends Avery an e-mail with a link to a wallpaper website. Battle back on.
The next day, Pete giddily tells Lemon that Jenna's promotion is freeing up tons of time for him. To wit, "Yesterday, I went to the gym! And this morning I made love to my wife. And she was still asleep, so I didn't have to be gentle." Cut to TMI shot of Mrs. Hornberger snoring like a buzz saw while her world gets rocked. Lemon says it's one of the most upsetting things she's ever imagined, so Pete urges her to consider it again. Oh goody, another money shot! While Lemon suppresses the urge to vomit, Jenna walks up to tell them she's crunched the numbers and has decided to cancel car service for staffers at night: "It's cheaper for us to just replace anyone who gets murdered." As she walks away, Pete points to her and cups his hands over his mouth like a proud parent.
Upstairs, Lemon asks Jack if Avery enjoyed the wallpaper website. Jack brags that his strategy worked yet again when he simply agreed to all of Avery's wallpaper choices. She was so overwhelmed, she set up a meeting with an interior designer. Jack claims he's "flanking her" troops in unknown territory. He adds that he's a prize in the gay community, both a Bear and Daddy -- a Daddy Bear. He has no doubts that he can flirt James away and hang onto his Elk Tongue.
Jack asks how things are going with Carol. Lemon, who spent the morning holding Carol's hand while he wept into his cereal, is relieved, yet concerned, that he's decided to leave early. Jack tells her she has a decision: Let Carol in and let go of her autonomy, or "teach [her] cat to dial 911." Lemon rubs her Life Alert necklace in Jack's face. Then, on the way out, she accidentally pushes it.
Outside, Tracy walks past Letterman again. Kenneth refuses to let him walk away this time, mentioning various little-known facts about Tracy to prove that he's real. Example: Tracy's favorite color is rainbow. Mine, too! Tracy reveals that he has at least one speck of logical thinking in him, and says that an imaginary Kenneth would know anything he knows since he's inside his head. He walks away gruffly, leaving Kenneth once again in his wake. Kenneth devises a fool-proof plan to prove he's real: Fling himself into oncoming traffic. Tracy hears the crunch of his bones, and what do you think is his first reaction? "Oh no, I missed it! Do it again!" Kenneth pulls himself off the hood of the cab as Tracy runs to his side. He begs Kenneth to come back to NBC, but Kenneth says he's found new happiness at CBS -- and a Mentalist tote bag! Tracy bids him farewell, taking the tote bag as a parting gift.