Episode Report Card Heathen: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Beyond Repair
By Heathen | Season 8 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.09.2002
This puts Abby in a foul mood, so she's none too receptive when Gallant hails her with yet another annoyance. She won't listen to him. "I'm not your Attending," she fumes. "I'm not a resident. I am a nurse." Gallant, taken aback, gapes at her. But Abby's on a roll. "You want me to assess a patient, push meds, check vitals, or explain a situation to a family? That's fine," she says. "What I will not do is carry you through med school. You want to be a doctor? Start acting like one." Gallant vows to insert his own Foley catheter, lest another moment like this ruin all his pants.
Valium Villa. Mark taps on Rachel's door, but she's not there; he opens the door on a room that's a total disgusting mess. And she has this bizarre, poorly chosen green plaid wallpaper -- I'm certain my grandfather once had those pants. Mark starts rummaging through her belongings, ending up with his hand elbow-deep in Rachel's backpack. It's only a matter of time before he's caught in the act and has to pretend he was trying to clean the bathroom, ran out of rubber gloves, and needed a roomy substitute. Mark yanks out an open pack of cigarettes with a condom tucked inside. "What are you doing?" snipes a teenage voice. Rachel, of course. Mark spins around and tries to pretend he was tidying up her room, but he then thrusts the cigarettes in her face and angrily asks if she's smoking. Infuriated, Rachel stomps into the den. "I bought that pack a month ago on a dare," she seethes, which of course doesn't explain why they're open and why some cigarettes are missing. Perhaps someone dared her to get lung cancer. Mark's not too bright, though, so he doesn't pick up on this probable falsehood and instead demands the truth about the condom. "They passed them out in health class," Rachel replies. She's a skilled liar -- she knew she'd get caught, so she prepared a story just in case. Mark figures she didn't have to keep the condom. "Why, you'd rather I not have them?" she sasses. Damn! She's good. And so bad. In fact, I hate her. Mark just wants her to be honest at all times, but Rachel rightly points out that he won't believe her anyway, and will just keep searching her room, so why not go ahead and lie? "I was looking for drugs!" blurts Mark. Rachel's eyes widen. She just totally busted her father, and it's so very sweet. "You said you were picking things up! Who's lying now?" she crows, still riled. Mark blathers about trust, so Rachel storms into her room and screams that she's hooked on drugs and nicotine and sex. She slams the door in the face of her impotent parent.